


Of Pride and Justice

by ApostateRevolutionary



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adventure, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Speculation, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3939898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApostateRevolutionary/pseuds/ApostateRevolutionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weisshaupt has closed its doors and the Wardens refuse to speak with anyone, even the Inquisition. An anonymous tip leads Inquistor Trevelyan into an abandoned section of the Deep Roads where she will find not only the cause of the Warden's troubles, but someone she never expected to meet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The relationships tagged will not be the focus by any stretch, but I'm including them since mentions are going to happen. I don't know exactly how big this will get, but I will add/alter relationship and character tags if necessary later. Same with regular tags.
> 
> The title is also a working one, but there's a pretty good chance I'm not going to change it now that I've chosen one. But, if I do come up with anything better, it may change.

Inquisitor Trevelyan made her way carefully along the stone passages, her team following close behind. The Deep Roads were a dangerous place at the best of times, and after hearing about the troubles at Weisshaupt and the Wardens locking themselves in and refusing to allow even the Inquisition in to come talk to them, this was certainly not the ‘best of times’. A message sent from an anonymous source that had identified themselves only as ‘A’ from within the fortress had been their only lead, and Evelyn had decided to follow its advice despite the questionable source. Something was wrong, and no one else was going to investigate, so it was better to trust this than risk leaving it unexamined.

“Blasted Deep Roads. Why does weird shit going on always lead to us going underground?” Varric muttered, looking uneasy.

“Must you always complain? About everything?” Cassandra huffed, even more irritable than usual.

“Oh Seeker, of course I must, it’s part of my charm.” Varric countered.

“Ugh.” Came Cassandra’s eloquent reply.

It didn’t look like any part of the Deep Roads Evelyn had ever seen before. Not that she’d seen much, of course, but it seemed less filled with Darkspawn than usual, and better lit. They’d seen some corpses as they’d made their way down the long, stone hallways, but no living among them, and the sconces on the walls all burned brightly. Had someone come through before them? Evelyn didn’t know. Perhaps there were Wardens down here after all. That could be good or it could be bad. She remembered the Wardens who’d become slaves to Corypheus and shuddered inwardly. That was not an experience she’d wish on anyone, nor the kind of enemy she wanted to fight.

“Anyone else find it strange that we haven’t encountered any living Darkspawn yet?” She asked as they continued.

“It is unusual. But if the cause of what is affecting the Wardens can be found here, then perhaps this area has been cleared out already. It may even be an isolated section, given its proximity to Weisshaupt.” Cassandra mused, seeming unconcerned.

“Deep Roads without Darkspawn? That’d be an improvement.” Varric chimed in.

Cole had been mostly silent since they’d arrived, perhaps still contemplating Solas’ disappearance. It had bothered Evelyn as well, but if he had chosen to leave and didn’t want to be found, there would be nothing she could do to find him. He’d been an apostate for life; clearly a master at not being found. The Inquisition’s spies were keeping an eye out for him, and nothing else could be done about that. Still, it hadn’t been long, and it wouldn’t have surprised her if Cole was upset about it.

As they walked, they noticed some sort of device on the wall, and a strange kind of barrier in front of them, as well as shadowed, caved-in sections to the left and right, before the barrier. Evelyn stepped forward, reaching out to try to sense what sort of magic the barrier was made off.

“It’s magic… Not any kind I can counter.” The Inquisitor pondered out loud, walking over to examine the instrument on the wall. “This is probably the key to unlocking it.”

There was a spot that looked to be shaped for a hand to be placed on it, and a hole in the middle. Maybe it was for a mage to use? Place their hand on it, then pour magic through the hole? Maker, Solas would’ve been helpful here. Evelyn cursed him, but quickly returned to focusing on the problem. It seemed to be of Dwarven make, so magic seemed unlikely, but if it were designed for the Wardens themselves, why not use magic? There was no way to know for sure using speculation alone. The mage sighed. She supposed there was only one way to find out.

“There must be a way passed it. Any ideas?” Cassandra asked.

“Well, I have one… But it may not work. Get ready in case it’s a trap.” Evelyn said, reaching out to place her left hand on the instrument.

“Dark, closed in, can’t breathe, lungs tight – no, not again. Have to focus. I can do this. I must. Who are they?” Cole mused, clearly reading into someone’s mind.

“Cole?” Evelyn asked, pausing with her hand hovering over the device when no one seemed concerned that their inner fears had just been voiced.

“He’s frightened. Not of us, no, suspicious, but not scared of us. He doesn’t like the dark. It reminds him of the bad place.” He continued.

When Cole didn’t provide anything more useful, Evelyn looked around, checking the path back and the two dark ends for signs of trouble even though she knew it was merely an attempt at stalling. After a few moments, when nothing happened and Cole didn’t say anything more, she shrugged, and moved her hand forward the rest of the way.

“No, stop!”

The shout echoed off the walls just before her hand made contact, but it was too late for her to pull back. Her hand touched the cool metal, and she felt a sharp pain in her palm as something stabbed it. Recoiling from the device and crying out, Evelyn discovered that something sharp had come out of the hole and pierced her, a small trickle of blood flowing from the wound.

She didn’t have time to think about it further before the shaking started.

“Get down!” She yelled, running towards the caved-in section on the left, her companions close behind as chunks of rock started coming down and burying the way they’d come from.

The group hid among the rubble, hands over their ears, until the cave-in seemed to have stopped. The falling rocks had kicked up a lot of dust, so it was hard to see the damage from simply peering over the rocks. Evelyn cautiously stepped out to assess it.

The way back was completely buried. There was no chance of them ever clearing it out without outside help. Her heart sunk when she noticed the barrier was still up as well, unchanged. At some point, there had likely been paths to the right and left they could’ve used to escape, but they were completely inaccessible now. There was no way out unless they took down that barrier, and that wasn’t exactly looking promising at the moment.

She heard sounds of movement to her right, coming from the other caved in section. Through the dust, she could see something emerge from behind the rocks, something that had likely been hiding there the whole time. She tensed, not readying her staff just yet, but preparing herself to grab it if necessary.

A figure, presumably the person who’d shouted the warning just before the collapse, walked out of the dust, their footsteps the only noise in the heavy silence.

That was, until, Varric spoke, sounding more shocked than the mage had ever heard him. “Andraste’s dimpled buttcheeks. Well, the Maker certainly has a sense of humour.”

The man was visible now, stopping short at the sight of the dwarf, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Varric? If you’re here, then it seems he certainly does.”

The man was a mage, that much was clear from the staff on his back. He wore the armour of the Wardens, blue and white, and his blonde hair was pulled back in a hasty half-ponytail. A Warden then? Perhaps he could tell them what was going on. There was an uneasiness in the way he moved, so it was clear the man was still wary despite apparently being familiar with Varric.

Evelyn cleared her throat when the talking didn’t continue. “Um, Varric, care to give us some introductions here?”

Varric sighed, and gestured at the group. “This is the Inquisitor, whom I’m sure you’ve heard of, and her entourage. Cassandra, former Seeker of the Chantry, myself, and Cole. He’s uh… Well, actually, you two will probably get along great.”

He paused for a moment, and then shifted his stance so he was indicating the stranger instead of them. “And this, everyone, is the man who destroyed Kirkwall’s Chantry.”


	2. Chapter 2

The group gawked openly as Varric pinched the bridge of his nose. Anders tried to look relaxed, seeming to be aiming for ‘mildly annoyed’, but the wariness in his eyes spoke volumes. Cassandra was the first to act, drawing her sword and stepping forward.

“Stand back, Inquisitor. This man is dangerous.” She snarled, never taking her eyes off him.

Anders let out a heavy sigh. “You couldn’t have gone with any other introduction, Varric?”

The dwarf sighed as well, looking stressed, but said nothing more. Evelyn could feel a pull of magic; the mage across from her was getting ready to strike if anyone made a move to harm him.

“Cassandra, maybe we should talk to him first.” Evelyn said, holding out her arms as a show of peace.

“I’d recommend listening to her. If you want to get out of here alive, you’ll need my help.” Anders said, calmly, but the Inquisitor knew he was fully expecting to be attacked at any moment.

Cassandra opened her mouth, but Evelyn interrupted her before this situation could get worse. “Cassandra, please. Let’s not do anything rash. I’d rather not starve to death down here.”

The warrior stayed put for another moment, before sheathing her blade, but she did not relax her stance. The tension in the air was palpable. Of all the people Evelyn had thought to find in some random section of the Deep Roads, the famous (or was it infamous?) Anders was certainly not one of them. She was caught between awe and worry. Without this man, she knew she’d still be trapped in the Circle, still wondering why the Maker hated her so much that he would wish such a fate on her, hating herself because she truly believed she deserved it just for being born with magic. This man’s actions and words had helped start the chain of events that saw her free of that, that saw her rise to the position she was in now and begin to see her past way of thinking as wrong. She knew it would be borderline heresy to do so, yet all she wanted to do was thank him as profusely as she was capable of. But she also knew that one wrong move or word from any of the five of them could end poorly. Careful talking was the best bet right now; potentially heretical gratitude could wait.

“Okay, now that the introductions are out of the way, why don’t we start with the obvious. What are you doing down here?” She asked, making a point of directing the discussion towards the topic at hand.

“Do you really need to ask? I’m here to stop whatever has taken over the other Wardens at Weisshaupt. I sent the Inquisition a letter, and headed down here myself when you didn’t come. But it seems I didn’t wait long enough for it to reach you.” He explained.

“So you were the anonymous source… Wait, what do you mean ‘taken over’?” Evelyn asked, thinking of what happened to the Wardens under Corypheus’ control.

“Could the cause of this be like Corypheus? Another ancient magister?” Cassandra added, giving voice the Inquisitor’s silent fears.

“Shit, Blondie, if that’s what this is, then you definitely shouldn’t be here.” Varric said, clearly troubled.

“No, I don’t think so. You know we fought Corypheus before, right? He was… able to control me too.” Anders’ voice wavered a bit as he spoke. “Whatever this is, can’t. I’ve been at Weisshaupt for some time now, and haven’t felt anything like what Corypheus was capable of. And trust me, I would know.”

“What _is_ happening at Weisshaupt? We’ve been trying to make contact, but no one has answered.” Evelyn continued, noting that the other mage seemed less suspicious of them with every question she asked, but he was still far from relaxed. Was something else bothering him?

He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. “I don’t rightly know. The Wardens there have become… I don’t even know the word for it. It’s not like under Corypheus’ control, where they’re following orders and raving about needing Hawke’s blood. They’re certainly planning something, something that isn’t of their own will, but it’s not the same. They won’t speak to anyone but each other and when they do it’s… disturbing. No one is allowed to leave without special permission, and only Wardens are being allowed in.”

His gaze darkened as he finished, and Evelyn got the distinct impression there was something he wasn’t telling them. The look on Varric’s face confirmed her suspicions; the dwarf undoubtedly knew Anders better than any of them ever had a hope to. Even now, she had to admit he was not what she expected. Truth be told, she didn’t know what she had expected. Just not… this. The man before her, despite having only just met him, was a far cry from the raving madman the Chantry painted him as.

“Still talking. Why are they still talking? We’re trapped, don’t they see? Need to get it open. There must be another way out. I can’t die here, not in the dark. Need to move forward, get away, get out.” Cole said, his voice expressing a fear and panic that wasn’t his.

Evelyn didn’t miss Anders’ body tensing, before he let out a steadying breath. He then took a few steps forward to get a better look at Cole.

“ **Compassion**.” He said, his voice taking on an otherworldly timbre, the tone full of power. “You’re a spirit.”

Both Evelyn and Cassandra were surprised by him immediately knowing what Cole was. Varric and the spirit in question, however, didn’t seem to be phased by this. That was odd.

“You’re hurting.” Cole continued, “So much pain… I need to help you.”

Anders looked to the side, as if ashamed, before looking back down at Cole. “I appreciate the thought. But now is not the time.”

“You’re not there, not in the bad place anymore. You’re not trapped. You just need to open the way forward.” Cole tried, looking hopeful that his words would help.

Evelyn watched as Anders clenched his fists, his whole body tense. He then murmured something she couldn’t hear, before nodding to Cole and turning away. Cole looked as though he was processing whatever the mage had said.

“I know how to remove the barrier.” He said, his voice thick, as he walked towards the device on the wall.

“Careful. I put my hand on that before and it stabbed me, then triggered the collapse.” Evelyn warned.

“I know. That’s what it was built for. I don’t know exactly how it works, but it seems to only open to Wardens, triggering a trap if anyone else touches it. It must have some way of detecting the taint in our blood.” Anders said, as he placed his hand on the device.

Evelyn heard the little _snikt_ of the instrument as the other mage flinched. It hurt, she knew that much. But once he pulled his hand away, the barrier dissipated almost instantly.

“Hmph. I suppose we do need you alive, then. For the moment.” Cassandra admitted, her jaw clenched in agitation.

Anders ignored her. “We need to keep moving. Whatever is causing this needs to be stopped, and quickly.”

Cassandra and Cole both started walking forward, and Evelyn was about to follow them when she noticed Varric grabbing hold of Anders’ arm to stop him. The Inquisitor stopped, bending over and pretending to fiddle with her boot while subtlely glancing back at the pair behind her. She was just close enough to hear what they were saying and read their expressions.

“Okay, Blondie, where is she?” Varric asked, the usual lightness gone from his voice.

Anders hesitated for a moment, his gaze dark again. Varric’s grip tightened on the mage’s forearm, his eyes speaking of deep concern. After Adamant, Varric had been so relieved that Hawke had survived despite the odds. If something had happened now… Evelyn didn’t want to think about what that would do to him.

“You better not tell me–” Varric started, but was interrupted.

“She’s still in Weisshaupt. I wanted her here, but I couldn’t get her out.” He said, the words coming through clenched teeth.

“I thought you said they weren’t letting non-Wardens in.” Varric’s words were very nearly an accusation, though he was still keeping his voice low, seemingly unaware that he was being overheard.

“They aren’t. She arrived before all of this started, and now they’re not letting anyone out, except those involved in what they’re planning.” Anders nearly hissed the response.

Varric opened his mouth to speak, but Anders cut him off again. “Let’s go. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we know she’s safe.”

Evelyn started moving again before they turned to follow, hoping they hadn’t noticed how close she was. So Hawke was still in Weisshaupt then. The Inquisitor had to wonder, though, why Anders hadn’t found a way to sneak her out. He had managed to get himself out, somehow, so why not bring her with him? The two were nearly inseparable, if the rumours could be believed. It’d taken the threat of the Breach and Corypheus to separate them even long enough for Hawke to help the Inquisition, and Varric had claimed even that had been very hard on the Champion. What could possibly be going on that was so dire as to keep them apart now? The Inquisitor was beginning to wonder if this situation was far more serious than she’d been led to believe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note about chronology: this takes place after the main Inquisition story is finished, but before all of the end-game decisions take effect. Most importantly, the new Divine (Leliana, in this case) has not been formally instated yet, so that part is unknown to pretty much everyone outside of the Inquisition itself, including Anders.

Anders stayed at the back of the group as they made their way through the stone halls, walking for what felt like the better part of a day, though it was always tough to tell in the Deep Roads. As much as it would have made sense for him to lead them, what with him being a Warden and this essentially being his idea, he still wasn’t convinced he wouldn’t find a blade in his back. And considering Cassandra kept looking back at him suspiciously, he figured that wasn’t an unlikely scenario right now. Justice was grumbling at the back of his mind, their feelings about this arrangement one in the same.

 _I know. I don’t like it either. But we might need them if we’re going to save her._ He thought, sending calming feelings towards the spirit, and ignoring how strange the role reversal felt. It had always been Hawke doing the rescuing before now, more than once having to literally carry him away from danger.

Anders and Justice had been working on communication, trying to make the merger easier on both of them. They both, when in control, had taken to speaking out loud and thinking directly at each other sometimes, despite it not being necessary. Sending emotions back and forth was complicated, and not always helpful. Words were simpler, more direct, and it helped them retain their individuality. It did seem to be working; the two were more in sync now than they’d ever been. It was only a shame they’d never thought to work on it earlier. Things were much better now that their relationship didn’t involve so much conflict and mental wrestling.

It also helped that the blonde mage was intrigued by the Inquisitor herself. When he’d first heard about the Inquisition being called, he’d assumed no good could come of that. Even if the Chantry had publicly disavowed them, they were still an arm of the institution. And the rumours of divine intervention? That couldn’t have ended well. But he’d been wrong. The Inquisitor was a mage, one who’d been freed in the rebellion, and it seemed she hadn’t forgotten that, later recruiting the rebelling mages as _allies_ instead of prisoners. That piece of news had been the only thing that had convinced him not to follow Hawke to Skyhold. If the Inquisition supported mage freedom, then clearly the organization wasn’t all bad. Justice concurred on that.

As the group travelled, they encountered multiple pockets of darkspawn. Anders, of course, had encountered many before the Inquisitor had caught up, but it was always easier fighting in a group, and the enemies were dispatched quickly. The healer lit fires in the sconces on the walls as they passed, giving the dark hallways at least some light. He was trying very hard to focus on the task at hand, and not how deep underground he was, how close together the walls were, how dark it was. He wanted to talk, to babble about something insignificant to take his mind off it, but he didn’t trust these people, not yet, save Varric, who was currently too many steps ahead of him for them to have a proper conversation. So instead, he just focused on taking deep, calming breaths as Justice wrapped protectively around his mind, helping him focus. They could do this. It was important.

The Inquisitor slowed her stride slightly, coming closer to him, and Anders inwardly groaned. She clearly wanted to talk, and he was not looking forward to watching his words with her. He still wasn’t sure exactly how much he could trust her, or her angry companion, with.

“So can you tell me anything else of what’s happening at Weisshaupt? Any evidence you may have found while inside?” She asked, her tone carefully neutral.

He knew what she was trying to do. Her goal was to keep their conversations strictly professional until he’d warmed up to her enough that she could get him to open up. The question was whether she was doing it with good intentions, or bad ones. Just because she supposedly supported mage freedom didn’t mean she supported _him_. He wasn’t going to let his guard down with complete, and powerful, strangers while they were trapped underground. He couldn’t tell her the full scope of this, not yet, not until he was certain these people could be trusted.

“I suspect this is another Warden prison, similar to the one we found Corypheus in. I managed to get a glimpse at a map of the tunnels, and they go deep, just like the last prison. If they had some creature who claimed to be an ancient magister locked up in one, who knows what else they might have hidden in other places?” He answered.

“But you said you don’t think it’s another magister.” She pointed out.

“I’m sure the Wardens have better things to do than just imprison ancient magisters. Maybe Wardens who aren’t commanded by the Hero of Ferelden don’t bother killing any new, dangerous kinds of darkspawn they find and just seal them away instead.” Anders replied, not intending for the words to have quite that much of a sarcastic bite.

The Inquisitor raised an eyebrow at him, but recognition dawned in her eyes a moment later. “That’s right. They say you were with the Hero of Ferelden in Amaranthine.”

He resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I was. She was the one who recruited me into the Wardens. And instead of imprisoning previously unknown darkspawn, she had the good sense to kill them so they couldn’t cause trouble for someone else later. It seems not all Wardens had a commander who thought the same. Almost anything could be locked down here, if that’s the case.”

The Inquisitor paused for a moment, presumably sensing his annoyance at the topic becoming more personal. They walked in silence for a few heartbeats before she tried again.

“How deep do these tunnels go, exactly?” She asked, her tone light.

“I only managed a quick look at the map, but we’ll be down here for a few days, I’d say.” Anders swallowed, ignoring the panic clawing at his throat at that thought. “But so long as we keep a good pace, we should make it in time.”

“In time for what?”

Anders cursed inwardly. He’d slipped. Maker, he’d never been good at lying, even when it mattered, and the Inquisitor seemed to be excellent at reading people. Probably a skill picked up from her time in the Circle, honed by all her exposure to Orlesian nobles. He was very much out of his league in this.

“In time to stop what the Wardens have planned.” He started, but an alarm inside his mind stopped him. “Watch, more darkspawn are coming.”

Sure enough, his Warden senses were just as sharp as they’d always been, and a group of hurlocks rounded the corner, jagged swords raised above their heads as always. Anders’ magic flew, as did the Inquisitor’s and Varric’s bolts, while Cassandra and Cole cut then down from close range. The Seeker took a bolt in the leg, grunting as it struck, slashing down the hurlock with the crossbow a moment later as Cole sank his blade deep into the chest of the last remaining one. The battle was over just as soon as it began.

Anders’ healer instincts kicked in, and he was at Cassandra’s side a moment later. The warrior regarded him with suspicion, her sword still drawn, and he paused.

“I can heal you.” He said plainly.

The woman before him did not relax her glare, and said nothing. Anders did not make a move forward, not wishing to test her.

“He wants to help.” Cole chimed in, and Anders could see the words have an effect on her.

 _So the Seeker trusts a spirit. Interesting._ He thought, making note of that. He was used to most people of faith considering any spirit in the mortal world to be a demon, and it wasn’t exactly a topic he could be impartial about. While almost all understood that not every denizen of the Fade was dangerous, many couldn’t understand that it wasn’t only demons that ended up in the mortal world at times. The mage idly wondered what might have brought a spirit of compassion through the Veil, particularly what sort of event would have allowed such a being to do so without a body. Justice echoed his curiosity; this was not something he’d ever encountered either, but one of them (or maybe both of them) somehow knew that’s what had happened.

A few more heartbeats passed before Cassandra sheathed her sword. “Do it.”

Her tone was like ice, but Anders gestured for her to sit all the same. He couldn’t expect someone like her to understand someone like him. She never could. It was people like her who’d allowed the Circles to continue as they had, who’d allowed the worst of the Templars to stay in power, who’d allowed mages to be tortured, abused, and stripped of all they were. Every fibre of his being was aching for him to shout at her, to explain just how much horror her order had allowed to happen. But he knew that was a bad idea. This Cassandra seemed to be the brash sort, the type to punch first, ask questions later. And he had the distinct impression that getting into a fight with her, which might potentially lead to killing her, was not the way to go about this.

So instead of informing her of just how much injustice she and her fellows had allowed to occur, he took a calming breath and then pulled the bolt out of her leg. She only grunted, impressing him slightly with her pain tolerance, and then he brought forth his magic, hands glowing as he sewed muscle and skin back together. The wound was minor, so he was done in moments. Anders didn’t miss that her eyebrows had risen in surprise when he stood up, declaring the job done.

“That was… fast.” The Inquisitor remarked.

“I’m a healer. I used to run a clinic for the poor in Kirkwall, so I got a lot of practice.” He replied, a bit sheepish.

He wasn’t used to people being impressed by his magic anymore. Most people he healed nowadays were well aware of how good he was, or were mages and thus familiar with other spirit healers of similar skill levels. It seemed the Inquisition had never recruited a mage with any actual talent for healing. It was a wonder the Inquisitor had lived this long.

“And now you know how Hawke survived being impaled by the Arishok. Blondie’s magic fingers.” Varric remarked, cleaning some ichor off Bianca with a rag. Some things never changed, at least.

Though the Varric Anders remembered when they’d parted ways, those few years ago, had been much angrier at him, most likely because of what he’d done to the Chantry. But the dwarf had been pleasant with him so far, more his old self. Varric had changed, of course he had, they all had changed, but Anders thought there was less bitterness there now. Had Varric forgiven him? He didn’t dare to hope so, but it was a nice thought. He got the feeling there’d be a conversation about that later. Varric wasn’t known for holding his tongue, but he at least had the good sense to not discuss sensitive matters while Anders was still convinced they’d all be turning on each other at any moment.

“Remind me why we don’t have anyone with that kind of skill in the Inquisition?” Evelyn added lightly.

“Because no one else has that kind of skill.” Varric said, continuing when he saw the Inquisitor’s questioning glance, “Blondie’s special.”

Anders felt a slight blush rising to his cheeks. Varric was right, of course. He’d always been better at healing than most, but after merging with Justice, his healing spells had gotten so much stronger. It was significantly easier to draw on the energy of a spirit for healing when that spirit was inside you, and never required convincing to help.

He could see the raised eyebrow of the Inquisitor and the suspicious glare of Cassandra, along with Varric’s indifference and Cole either not paying attention or not wanting to get involved. Of course, the spirit knew exactly why he was different, but he’d told him not to say anything about that, if he could avoid it, when he thanked him for his words. Anders had hoped he’d said it low enough for the others not to hear, and their confused glances now made him think he’d succeeded. That was something at least. He’d been called an ‘abomination’ enough times for one lifetime, and he still needed these people alive, which they likely wouldn’t stay if they tried to attack him. Justice seethed at even the idea of them being considered such a creature, and Anders sent a wave of calm towards him. It hadn’t happened yet, after all.

He thought he’d better talk before they started asking questions. “Well, yes, while all this is well and good, I think we’ve used enough time, haven’t we? We should keep moving.”

The Inquistor looked thoughtful for a moment. “I was thinking maybe we should stop soon, make camp for the night. Right here may not be a good choice, obviously, but we will need to rest at some point. You said we’d be down here for a few days?”

Anders felt his body tense. He’d factored in some sleep, but doing so every night was something he’d been hoping to avoid. He and Justice had figured out a way for him to sleep while the spirit was active, allowing them to continue on and rest at the same time. It wasn’t as good as a full night’s sleep, but it was enough that Justice wouldn’t get on his case for skipping something so vital. That was a lot of time he wasn’t sure they could afford to lose. And if they returned too late… No, he wasn’t going to think about it. He’d have to find some other way to hurry their pace.

“Are there more of those barriers?” Cassandra asked, actually looking at Anders without seeming like she wanted to kill him right then and there for the first time since they’d met.

“I don’t know for sure, but I did dispel one before the barrier you were stopped by. So I suspect there may be more as we go.” He answered.

“Perfect. If we set up camp at one of those without taking it down, we’ll be safe from the darkspawn.” The Inquistor chimed in, slowly beginning to walk forward and indicating for the others to follow.

Anders swallowed hard. He didn’t like that idea, since encountering a barrier meant he was trapped. He felt Justice nudge at him, trying to calm him. The healer remembered that he had the power to open the barrier at any point, and that was a truly helpful thought, though he wasn’t sure if he was actually remembering, or if Justice was reminding him. So long as he could open it, he wasn’t trapped, and it wasn’t as if he was suddenly going to stop being a Warden.

The group walked for a time and, sure enough, they found another barrier, blocking their progress. The Inquisitor’s entourage then all agreed that this was a perfect place to set up camp for the night and recover some of their energy. Anders knew sleep was unlikely for him tonight, but he set up his bedroll anyways, a little farther out from the rest of them. If nothing else, he’d have something moderately comfortable to sit on while he worried the night away.


	4. Chapter 4

Anders sat on his bedroll nibbling at some dried meat he’d brought in his pack while the others chatted and ate around the fire. Nothing they said seemed to be important, mostly talking about people and experiences at Skyhold. Occasionally, Varric would throw in a tale about Hawke, which made Anders smile slightly. It seemed the dwarf still very much enjoyed the second hand boasting about his friend that had made him famous. It wasn’t surprising by any stretch, but it made Anders strangely happy. He’d missed Varric.

As the conversation wound down and the Inquisitor and Cassandra started settling into their bedrolls, the mage looked up to see Varric coming over with a bowl in his hands.

“Here, Blondie. This has got to be better than whatever Warden rations you managed to get your hands on.” He said, offering the bowl to him.

Underneath the general scent of Deep Roads and filth, Anders could discern the smell of the stew and his mouth watered a bit. How the hell they had managed to make something so good down here was beyond him, but it smelled delicious all the same.

He took the bowl, and nodded his gratitude before digging in. “How did you make something like this down here?” He asked, not bothering to fully empty his mouth first.

Varric chuckled as he sat down beside the mage. “The Inquisitor has her ways. It’s actually made in Skyhold, and just heated up on the road. Damned good idea, if you ask me.”

Anders nodded, continuing to stuff his face. Varric stayed unusually silent while he ate, which was mildly worrying. Varric and silence was never a good combination. When Anders put the empty bowl down, wiping his mouth, he heard the dwarf’s heavy exhale.

“Okay, we need to talk about this. What’s really going on here, Blondie?” Varric said, his voice low as he glanced at the rest of the party, save Cole, sleeping by the fire, before looking at Anders again.

“Varric…” Anders sighed, not knowing exactly how to respond. “Can we discuss the bronto in the room first?”

When the dwarf’s eyes narrowed in confusion, Anders continued, “Last time we talked, you… weren’t exactly happy with me. And now you’re acting as if nothing happened. What am I supposed to make of that?”

Varric pinched the bridge of his nose while the healer just waited for an answer. “Blondie, you know I don’t like talking about this shit.”

“I know. But I need to know where we stand. Have you forgiven me, or are you just pretending you have to win my trust?” The mage asked bluntly.

Varric actually looked stunned for a fraction of a second. Stunned and… hurt. Anders immediately felt bad, but he needed to know. So instead of apologizing, he just continued to stare at the other man.

The silence dragged on for an uncomfortable amount of time. Varric was staring at the fire across from them, looking as though he was considering his answer very carefully. Anders was becoming more anxious by the moment. He did not have the patience for this, especially right now.

“I need to know, Varric. I need to know if I can still trust you.” He said quietly, but still loud enough to be heard.

Varric let out another controlled exhale. “Look, Blondie. No matter what you might think, it was never about the Chantry or the mages. Not for me, anyways. It was about everything else. What you did to me, to Kirkwall, and to Hawke.”

Anders just waited as the dwarf paused, his anxiety growing by the second.

“Kirkwall is only just recovering from the damage you did. Hell, _I’m_ only just recovering from the damage you did. The Seeker over there?” He said, gesturing at the sleeping warrior. “She kidnapped me, interrogated me, threatened me, and then dragged me into this whole mess because of what you did. She was looking for Hawke, and if she hadn’t bought my lies, Hawke would probably be dead right now. And all of that is because of you.”

Anders swallowed hard. Varric’s judgement was unsurprising, but it still stung to hear it laid out like that. But he also knew that this was far from the worst result of his actions, and it was hard to feel guilty about it when he remembered just how much blood had been spilled to get the mages to where they were now. And he'd made his peace with that already, with Hawke's help.

“But…” Varric’s voice cut through the silence, breaking Anders’ train of thought. “I do forgive you. Getting roped into the Inquisition wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. We’ve done a lot of good, even helped Kirkwall defend against Sebastian. And Hawke… I don’t know if you read our letters, but even though you turned her into a fugitive, she’s _happy_.”

Now Anders was surprised. To hear Varric actually say he forgave him, to hear that he was now content with the course of events, and to hear confirmation that Hawke was truly happy? It was a huge relief. Anders hadn’t wanted Varric to hate him forever, but he’d known, all those years ago, that helping the mages was going to take a personal toll. He’d honestly thought it would’ve meant his death, so burning a few bridges was the least of his concerns. And, even though she frequently told him so, Varric confirming that Hawke was happy meant more than the mage could say.

Anders mentally checked with Justice, who confirmed Varric’s words to be true, before letting out a long, relieved sigh. He could still trust Varric, then.

“Thank you, Varric. I… never expected forgiveness, but it’s nice to hear.” He said, smiling.

The dwarf patted his arm. “Yeah, well, just don’t tell the Seeker about it. I can only imagine what body part she’ll threaten to cut off if she hears about me supporting an enemy of the Chantry.”

Anders chuckled at that, and the pair was silent for a moment. It felt good to get that out of the way. And knowing that at least one person down here was someone he could trust helped a great deal.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Varric asked suddenly, his tone back to being uncharacteristically serious.

“What do you mean?” Anders responded.

Varric looked annoyed at the mage’s attempt to play dumb. “You know exactly what I mean. You know more about what’s going on here than you’re saying. You’re good at some things, Blondie, but lying isn’t one of them.”

Anders sighed. “Well, I guess there’s no harm in telling you. I don’t want everyone to know though, not yet.”

The dwarf nodded, but then added, “The kid probably already does, you know.”

“Yes, I’d gathered that. I asked him to keep quiet about it, and about Justice. I’m not ready for some people,” Anders glanced at the two sleeping by the fire, “to know yet.”

“I get it. I won’t say a word and, unlike you, I can talk my way out of anything.” Varric answered, smirking slightly.

The healer took a steadying breath. “I know what the Wardens have planned. Hawke is in danger.”

Varric frowned. “I figured. It takes a lot to get you underground.”

“This is reason enough. The Wardens, they’re… planning to turn everyone else inside Weisshaupt. Every single person in there who isn’t a Warden will become one or die, and then they’re going to start expanding.” Anders cleared his throat, trying to stop the shaking of his voice. “They want everyone to take the Joining. Every single person they can get.”

Varric’s eyes widened for a moment, and then his brow furrowed. “Shit.”

“And this happening here, at Weisshaupt, is the worst possible place it could. The Wardens here actually hold political sway. They have power, Varric. Whoever or whatever is controlling them picked their target well. By the time anyone else realizes what’s happening, it’ll be too late to stop them without something like an Exalted March.” Anders finished.

The dwarf leaned back, letting all of this information sink in for a moment. “And you’re saying they’re planning to do this to Hawke as well.”

“Yes. Everyone in Weisshaupt will be forced to attempt the Joining if we don’t stop this before their preparations are complete. The Wardens, they’re… talking about it like the one’s they’ve got imprisoned should be grateful, honoured to be forced into this. That the worthy will be happy to be a part of this, and those that don’t deserve to be part of such a great order, or who refuse to accept the honour, will be rightly cleansed from the world. They’re talking about it with such fucking arrogance!” Anders paused, taking a deep breath to settle his rage. “The Joining kills, Varric. You either come out of it a Warden, changed forever, or you die. It’s impossible to tell who will survive and who won’t.”

Varric’s gaze had darkened significantly. He’d already put the pieces together. Either Hawke would become a Warden, with all of the drawbacks that entailed, she would die in the Joining, or she would be killed for refusing. Even someone as great as her couldn’t carve her way out of a fortress full of seasoned warriors. And if Anders couldn’t sneak her out somehow, no one could. He was well known for breaking in and out of prisons, after all, and Varric was fully aware of that.

“They’re acting like being a Warden is some mark of divine favour or something. It’s garbage. No Warden I’ve ever met talks about it like that. It’s seen as an honour, yes, but no Warden in their right mind is _smug_ about it.” Anders continued, unable to stop now that he’d finally been able to get all this off his chest.

Varric was no less troubled. “So if we don’t stop this, or we take too long, Hawke’s either dead or forced into being a Warden?”

“Yes. And you can trust me when I say there’s a reason the Wardens usually recruit from those who have no other choice.” Anders said.

Varric stayed silent for another moment. “Shit. I assume you have a plan?”

“Find whoever or whatever is doing this, and kill it.” The mage’s voice was firm.

“And you really don’t know what that is?” Varric asked, his tone not accusatory.

“I don’t. That part I wasn’t lying about. If I knew, I’d tell you. I just know it’s not another ancient magister.”

“Because otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Right, right.” The dwarf said, shifting his weight and standing up. “Well, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna try to get some shut eye. We’ve got another long day of Deep Roads ahead of us tomorrow.”

Anders chuckled. “Don’t remind me.”

“You try to get some sleep too, Blondie.” He said as he wandered back over to the fire.

The healer smiled sadly. “We both know I probably won’t.”

“I know. But try.”

With that, Varric settled into his bedroll with the others while Anders wrestled with his thoughts. It was a lot to process. Varric forgiving him was a welcome, though unexpected, development. Hawke had told him the dwarf wouldn’t stay angry forever, but Anders hadn’t believed her. Thoughts of Hawke brought him back to the current worry. Now that Varric knew just what was at stake, perhaps he could help hurry things along subtly. Anders still didn’t want to tell the others, not knowing how they might use the information against him, to hold him hostage or to threaten him somehow, but it had felt good to be able to tell _someone_.

The mage glanced around for Cole, who seemed to have wandered off somewhere. If he wasn’t going to sleep anyways, talking with the spirit might have been a good way to pass the time, but apparently that wasn’t possible at the moment, and Anders had no intention of searching dark, cramped halls for him. The healer then settled into his bed roll, trying to get comfortable. If he couldn’t rest his mind, at least his body would recover a bit from a full day of walking and fighting. Justice’s presence nudged at his mind, wrapping around him and trying to soothe Anders’ worries, but it was a little less effective when he knew the spirit shared them too. Still, that he was trying felt nice, and it had a small effect. Even though the mage did spend the whole night awake and wrestling with his worries, Justice was able to keep the darker fears at bay, and it was enough to only be stuck worrying about the task at hand instead of the dark corners of his own mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally some of the mystery has been revealed haha. Oh, and a little explanation for the bit about checking with Justice: I headcanon that Justice can detect lies, like Cole can feel others' pain, because lying usually means covering up some sort of injustice. So that's what was happening there.
> 
> Also, I wanted to thank everyone who's been leaving such nice comments on here. It's definitely helping to keep me going ^^ I rarely reply, but rest assured, I read every single one.


	5. Chapter 5

Evelyn awoke to the sounds of armour being put on and buckles being fastened in place. Her eyes fluttered open to see Cassandra leisurely strapping herself back into her heavy armour, since it was practically impossible to sleep in. The Inquisitor stretched, yawning, and then sat up to assess how everyone was doing.

Cassandra looked as awake and alert as usual, always the early riser. Varric was looking slightly less miserable than she’d anticipated, given his distaste for sleeping anywhere that wasn’t a bed, as well as his hatred of the Deep Roads. He still looked exhausted, but she’d seen him in far worse states after sleeping in much more pleasant places. She then glanced around to see where Cole was to find him talking to Anders off to the side.

The mage himself looked more worse for wear than any of them. Based on what little she’d been able to glean from him, he was no fan of the Deep Roads either. The dark circles under his eyes hinted at a night without sleep, and he seemed agitated. Evelyn wondered why. She knew Cole had a habit of bringing up unpleasant memories, but perhaps it had more to do with their mission here, and whatever had alarmed him enough to call to the Inquisition, technically still an arm of the Chantry, for help. The Inquisitor had figured out nearly from the start that there was more going on here than he was letting on, but she got the feeling she wouldn’t be able to find out unless he allowed her to.

Evelyn leisurely ate her breakfast, waking up a bit more with each bite. She wasn’t immune to a night in the Deep Roads, either. Even with her bed roll, the stone floors weren’t exactly comfortable, and the tunnels always had this general feeling of unease accompanying them that made truly restful sleep all but impossible. Even when she’d been on the run after Ostwick’s Circle fell, she’d never risked sleeping in the Deep Roads. But being the Inquisitor had brought a whole host of new experiences and challenges, and spending a few nights underground was certainly not the most difficult by any stretch.

After finishing her meal, the Inquisitor checked in with everyone to make sure they were ready to move soon. Cassandra was already fully prepared, as expected, Varric was close enough that she didn’t pester him to hurry, and Cole didn’t need any preparation. That only left the other mage in the tunnels. Evelyn finished packing up her bed roll before walking over to the exhausted-looking blonde and the spirit he was speaking with.

“But I can help! I can make you forget all of it.” She overheard Cole saying as she approached.

“It’s not… I appreciate it, really, Cole, but…” Anders paused, trying to form the right words.

“Even if that were possible – **which it is not** –” The mage’s voice took on that deep, otherworldly timbre once again, leaving Evelyn even more curious. “I don’t want to. My pain has not been felt solely by me. Others have experienced what I have, as well as much worse. If I just forgot, I’d forget about them to. And many of them do not have someone to fight for them. That is my task: to fight for those who cannot. If I forgot my pain, I’d forget that, **forget my purpose**. I can’t do that, Cole.”

Cole absorbed that for a moment before he smiled, nodding in understanding. “You want to help, and you can’t help if you don’t know. I understand. I’m sorry you both must bear so much alone.”

_Both? Ah, Cole must be talking about Hawke._ The Inquisitor thought.

Anders was facing away from Evelyn, who’d stopped walking as she listened to the conversation, but she could hear the smile in his next words. “We don’t bear it alone. She’s the one that keeps it from crushing us.”

Before the Inquisitor could hear more, or process that her initial conclusion had been wrong, the sounds of Varric packing up behind her caused Anders to turn and look. Evelyn gave a friendly smile as she took a few more steps forward, trying to make it look like she hadn’t been eavesdropping. Damn, she’d really have to stop doing that to him if she was ever going to get him to trust her. Invading his privacy was certainly not the best way to accomplish that.

“Morning, Anders. I was just checking in to see if you’d be ready to go soon.” She said, ending the statement as if it were a question.

“Oh, yes, of course.” Anders stood up, slinging his full pack onto his shoulder. “I’ve been waiting for your party to get ready. I’d hoped to make better time today.”

There was an urgency in his words that he was definitely trying to cover up. “Sorry about that. Not all of us are morning people.” Evelyn smiled apologetically. “But we can certainly try to pick up the pace a bit for you.”

The Warden before her blinked in confusion for a moment, before responding, “Thank you. I’d appreciate it.”

Evelyn gave him a nod, then moved back to finish her preparations. Once she was ready, so was everyone else, and the party assembled by the barrier, waiting for Anders to remove it like the previous one. The mage put his hand to the device, wincing as it stabbed him before retracting, and the barrier was gone. It was unfortunate that they couldn’t take turns being stabbed; Anders’ hand must have been getting sore by now, even with the healing spell he used after. But it wasn’t as if they had another Warden available.

The party continued their descent, encountering more pockets of darkspawn than the previous day. Nothing major, and certainly nothing they couldn’t handle, but it meant their pace had to become more gruelling if they were going to make more ground today than the previous one. Evelyn walked as quickly as she thought she could handle for an extended period of time, keeping this in mind.

After spending most of the day descending and fighting darkspawn along the way, like they had before, the ground started to flatten out. The Inquisitor wondered if that meant they’d hit bottom. That certainly must have been a good sign, since reaching the bottom meant that they’d start heading up soon. She couldn’t wait to be out of the Deep Roads.

The tunnels had also changed shape. Sconces were more frequent and, up ahead, there looked to be other paths leading off, either to rooms or down different tunnels entirely. Evelyn had never seen anything like it.

“It looks like we’ve hit the bottom.” She remarked, slowing their pace so they could explore a bit more.

“It does seem that way.” Cassandra replied, looking around as they walked. “This area is different than the others.”

As the group made their way down, it became clear that the other paths were simply rooms, long abandoned and left to decay. Some appeared to be living quarters, while others appeared to be work stations. Evelyn figured these were originally built by dwarves, but had probably been occupied since then, likely by Wardens. The books and other debris left around looked too recent to be from long dead dwarves. She inspected one of the rooms, finding nothing but books on darkspawn, the Fade, spirits and demons, and other topics, written in both the common tongue and Ander, before moving onto another.

There she found Anders, squinting at a worn notebook, as if he was trying to make sense of it.

“Anything interesting?” She asked softly, trying not to startle him.

The mage looked up at her, his brow furrowed. “I’m sure it is, if I could read it better. These appear to be research notes, written by Wardens. But they’re written in Ander.”

“You know the language?” Evelyn asked, suddenly realizing the origin of his name.

“Not enough to decipher these. I spent most of my life in Ferelden, so I don’t remember much beyond the basics. Besides, my parents were farmers, and these notes are scholarly. I’ve never heard a lot of these words.”

“What can you get from them?”

The mage paused, humming quietly in deliberation. “They were experimenting with something. Something… I don’t remember what the word means, but it’s something evil, I remember that much. Could mean darkspawn, demons, the taint itself, anything like that. I don’t remember which.”

Anders’ brows were scrunched up, almost as if he were in pain. “So they were experimenting with something bad? That’s more than we knew before.”

“True. Though knowing that whatever is down here was made intentionally is… troubling. If they didn’t kill it, there’s a good chance it’s because they couldn’t figure out how after they lost control of it. I imagine there may be a hint in this notebook, if we could decipher it.” He said, before closing the book and putting it in his bag. “I’ll look at it again when we stop, but we shouldn’t waste time. Unless anyone in your party speaks the language?”

Evelyn shook her head. “Not that I know of.”

Anders nodded, and then left the room. The Inquisitor took one last glance for anything else that might be useful before following, wondering what the book could have said. The man seemed truthful about not being able to understand it, which was worse than him lying. If he had been, one person understanding the threat they faced was better than none. The rest of the group had rejoined and were waiting in the hallway when Evelyn emerged from the room.

“Did you find anything of interest?” Cassandra asked, glancing at them both.

“Sort of. We found some study notes that seem to say that the Wardens were experimenting with something dangerous, but the notebook is written in Ander. He doesn’t know the language well enough to figure it out.” Evelyn replied, indicating the blonde mage close by.

“And it seems whatever we’re dealing with here was created intentionally, which likely means that the reason it’s not dead is because they couldn’t kill it.” Anders added.

“Shit. That’s not a good sign.” Varric said, his gaze darkening a bit.

“Then they created something that wants to hurt people. We have to kill it.” Cole was angry, something that didn’t happen often.

Cassandra also looked troubled but said nothing, so Evelyn chose to urge them along instead. “Regardless, we should keep moving. There’s still some time left, and we need to find another barrier before we can consider resting.”

The party then moved on, coming across another group of darkspawn just before the path started to slope upwards again, this one including an ogre. Cassandra focused on the massive beast, with Anders’ spells as back up while Evelyn and the others focused on the smaller creatures. Cole was deadly quick, and the combined hail of arrows and magic had the lesser darkspawn dispatched with little trouble.

Evelyn looked over at the ogre, who was bleeding profusely, but still very much alive. Cassandra seemed unhurt, but it was clear she couldn’t fend the creature off forever as it picked up a massive boulder to crush her with. The warrior got ready to move as Evelyn prepared a spell, but a massive bolt of power, something far beyond her capabilities, struck the beast in the chest. The ogre stilled before falling backwards and collapsing, dead before it hit the ground. The Inquisitor glanced over at Anders to see blue cracks of lightning disappearing from his skin. What the hell had he done? How was he that powerful? Evelyn had never seen anything like it before, even from the magisters among the Venatori.

Cassandra looked back, giving Anders a nod of gratitude before she relaxed, sheathing her blade. They were all breathing heavy from the combat, but no one seemed injured, which was a good thing. They took a moment to recover before continuing to move. Evelyn caught up with Varric as they walked.

“Did you know he could do that?” She said, her voice low.

“Do what? Kill darkspawn? That was kind of Blondie’s job before we met.” Varric answered casually.

“No, that burst of power. I’ve never seen anything like it before. He’s powerful, Varric.”

The dwarf chuckled at that. “Yes, he is. But, fortunately for us, he’s on our side. You don’t need to worry about it. You’ve never seen Blondie around a cat, but if you had, you’d know he’s nothing to be afraid of. Trust me on that.”

Evelyn didn’t know why Varric had mentioned cats, but it still did little to soothe her concern. Truth be told, she was also impressed. She’d never seen a mage with that much power, and she was pretty certain he hadn’t even used blood magic. Not that she particularly cared if he had, but at least that would’ve explained it. No, there was some other secret to his power, one she wished she could learn. She was the Inquisitor; power was something she needed to survive.

They walked for what felt like a few more hours, their pace slowing as exhaustion set in. They’d had some dry rations throughout the day, but hunger was also beginning to take its toll, especially since they were now climbing uphill instead of down. Evelyn was no longer dwelling on the blue lightning she’d seen on Anders’ skin, her mind solely focused on putting one foot in front of the other. If they didn’t find another barrier soon, she was sure she was going to collapse.

Just as it was about to be too much, another barrier did come into view, and the Inquisitor had never been so happy to see an obstacle in her life. Now they could eat, rest, and recover from the long trek in peace. It wasn’t every day you had to fight an ogre, that was for sure. The rest of the party, even Anders, looked visibly relieved when they finally stopped before the magical obstruction, and set up camp for the night.

Anders still set up his area further out than the rest of them, but he was closer than before. Perhaps he was starting to trust them after all, something Evelyn was pleased with. She didn’t want him to be wary of her or her party, and she still had yet to give him the thanks he deserved for being part of what freed her from the Circle. As the others settled in, relaxing by the fire, she saw the blonde mage studying the notebook again. Hopefully he could make more sense of it, and they’d at least have a clue of what they were in for. Evelyn also continued to wonder about what she’d seen him do during the fight as she settled into her bed roll, but didn’t get far with that train of thought before sleep claimed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long with this one! Those that follow me on tumblr may be aware that I had some IRL stuff going on for a bit there that's mostly resolved. So *hopefully* new chapters will come more than once a month from now on. That's the plan at least haha ^^


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, sorry for the wait (again... ^^;). This chapter ended up taking an entirely different turn than I originally planned, because the original plan came out weird and forced. It still gave me a lot of trouble, but I'm hoping it works better now, and it's done, so I'm going to post it now because I've been fighting with it for weeks and I think it's time to just get it over with before I start overthinking everything haha

The roof was caving in, rocks crashing down and dust filling the air. Anders coughed, choking on the particles he’d accidentally breathed in, moving quickly to try and hide and avoid being crushed. The mage found a spot in the corner, away from the barrier and the camp that had already finished collapsing, it seemed, and took cover, crouching down and trying to protect his head with his arms. His eyes were screwed shut, teeth clenched hard, and his mind was begging and praying for it to end, for there still to be a way out when it was all over.

Logically, he knew a cave in of this sort was a very brief event, but it seemed to go on forever, the clamour hurting his ears to the point he could’ve sworn they were bleeding. Though when it finally did end, Anders couldn’t bring himself to move immediately. He didn’t want to look, didn’t want to know. Something in him was certain he was trapped, that the little alcove he’d found had been cut off from everything else. He tried to tell himself that was just his fear, not reality, but it was still a few long moments before he dared to investigate his situation.

The healer opened his eyes, stood up, and his heart immediately dropped into his gut. He was right. There was nothing around him but rocks and dirt, with much of the latter still suspended in the air, swirling and ready to choke him again. Anders’ gaze darted around, not really taking any of it in, but he was still desperate to believe this wasn’t happening. His breaths were becoming more shallow, and he could feel the familiar claws of panic climbing up his throat.

It seemed the Maker had a sense of humour, though, as one of the sconces he’d lit was in the alcove with him, somehow still lit, allowing the mage to see exactly how fucked he was. He tried to call for the Inquisitor and the others, but his voice wouldn’t obey him. Still, he had to try, or at least that’s what he thought until he looked down.

A trickle of blood seeped out from under the rocks around what appeared to be the Inquistor’s hand and wrist, limp and unmoving. Anders’ chest was starting to hurt, his heart beating so fast he was beginning to question if it was going to explode. Though, at this point, he'd consider that a mercy

_Are they all…? No! They can’t be! If they are, then I’m…_ Anders thought, dread increasing with every moment. He was going to die here, in what was essentially his worst nightmare. There was no one to help him. Everything was for naught. And Hawke… Whatever was going to happen would happen, and there was nothing he could do. Terror stabbed through him. It was over. He’d survived everything he had just to die alone in a small, dark space after all.

**_NO!_** The thought ripped through his mind, and the mage was reasonably sure it didn’t belong to him. Justice couldn’t accept this, that must have been what he was saying. Anders couldn’t either, and even though part of him knew there was no way out, he couldn’t stay still and just allow this to happen.

Before he could consciously think about it, his hands were grabbing the rocks, pulling, scrabbling at them, trying to get them to move. Smaller ones were knocked loose, gathering at his feet, though he was barely seeming to make a dent. That realization made him panic more, fervently scratching and fumbling and desperately trying to at least get to the barrier, or the mechanism, or _something_ that would help. His fingers started to hurt, but he didn’t care. It didn’t matter. He needed to get out, now, _now, NOW_.

He could see flickering blue reflected off the rocks, Justice’s presence coming forth and going back again over and over as Anders kept scrabbling at the wall of rock, his fingers starting to bleed through his gloves under the abuse, his grasp beginning to slip with the red liquid collecting on the rocks. He could feel the spirit trying to get his attention, trying to inform him of something, but the white hot panic coursing through his body was too much for even Justice to overcome.

**_Stop!_** Suddenly, Justice flared again, stopping him from moving, and Anders fought against it, fought like he had way back when, before they’d figured this out and learned to communicate. He was going to die, alone in the dark. How could Justice allow this? How could he want this to happen? A strange tingle, almost painful, raced up his spine and then the world shifted.

Anders was sitting up now, in his cot, sucking in heavy breaths as his heart pounded so hard his chest hurt. He looked around wildly, discovering that no, he wasn’t trapped anymore. The ceiling hadn’t caved in. The others were still sleeping around the sputtering fire. The notebook he’d found earlier was sitting in his lap, having fallen forward from his chest when he’d sat up so suddenly. The mage then knew what had happened. He’d fallen asleep and had a nightmare, and Justice had been trying to pull him out of it. He sent an apology through their shared consciousness for fighting him so hard, and the spirit responding with an affectionate nudge. No harm done, then.

“Hey, are you alright?” A nearby voice made Anders jump, hastily looking over to find the Inquisitor watching him worriedly.

The shock of her discovering his distress left him mute, so Evelyn spoke again. “If you can’t speak yet, it’s alright. But you’re safe. Everything is okay. You don’t need to be afraid. We’re in the Deep Roads, but we’re safe. You can open the way forward anytime you want.”

The Warden let those words wash through him, mingling with memories of Hawke’s voice saying similar, yet different, things. He knew all of what she said was true, but his body was still in full panic mode, so he repeated the sentiments to himself, telling himself that he was okay. It had just been a nightmare. A nightmare couldn’t hurt him.

After a few moments, he felt calm enough to trust his voice. “Thank you, Inquisitor. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

He’d turned away from her when he finished speaking, but her response brought his gaze back to hers. “It was no trouble, Anders. And you don’t need to apologize. I don’t know what happened to make you have a nightmare bad enough that it woke me in my cot, but I know how frightening these things can be. If you need to talk, I’m happy to do so.”

Her smile was likely meant to be reassuring, but it just made Anders more uncomfortable. “No, it’s fine, I’m alright. Thank you, though, Inquisitor. I’m sorry for waking you.”

Anders paused, but started talking again before Evelyn could respond. “I understand if you’re not comfortable talking about it, but I have to ask. Is the reason you know how bad these things can be from your own experiences in the Circle?”

The Inquisitor paused, seeming to consider her answer. “Partially. I was almost killed when my Circle fell, Silenced and helpless against a Templar’s blade if not for the errant fireball that saved my life. It made me terrified of Templars to the point where I couldn’t really handle fighting against them. It took time, but I’m doing much better now.”

Anders felt a pang of guilt. He knew the dissolution of the Circles hadn’t been pleasant for everyone. But it still always hurt him to hear about the personal experiences of every individual who’d been hurt in the process. He didn’t regret his actions, never would, but he did feel guilty sometimes, especially in situations like this. Change hurt, he knew that far better than most, but he was personally responsible for the bad just as much as the good, and that was something he could never forget.

The healer then belatedly realized that Evelyn had been talking through his personal guilt trip, and he was certain he’d missed some of what she’d said. Shit.

“–really helped. So yes, I do understand how it feels, though I’m sorry you know as well.”

Anders looked away. “I’m sorry you know it, too. And I’d understand if you blamed me for it. Most do, not unfairly.”

Evelyn made a strange noise, causing the healer to look back at her. She looked shocked and also… amused? Anders furrowed his brow. Why would she react like that?

“Blamed you??” She asked, incredulous. “I would never! Anders, look… I didn’t want to say it before, given some of my company but… I believe wholeheartedly in you, in the choice you made. Without you, I wouldn’t be free. I’d be trapped in my Circle, still wondering why the Maker hated me so much that He would wish such a fate on me.”

Anders blinked when she paused, too stunned to say anything. She _agreed_ with him? The Inquisitor, the leader of a powerful, Chantry-led organization _agreed_ with _him_? Maybe he hadn’t woken up after all. Maybe this was just another dream. Justice poked at his mind, trying to inform him that this wasn’t the Fade, but Anders was too dazed to acknowledge that.

The Inquisitor was now looking down, speaking a bit quieter. “I couldn’t understand why the Maker would want me to be confined like that. How could He love me, and also want _that_ for me? I didn’t understand, so I assumed He must have hated me, hated all mages.”

She trailed off again, and Anders wanted to speak, but didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent until she continued. “Then the Circles fell, and I was lucky enough to escape. I spent time with other fleeing mages, still assuming that this hardship was further proof of the Maker’s hatred of me. But shortly before the Conclave, I heard another idea. ‘The oppression of mages stems from the fears of men, not the will of the Maker.’ The manifesto was passed around, and I managed to see a copy.”

If the healer had been in shock before, he was reeling now. _His_ manifesto?? It was being passed around? The Inquisitor herself had read it? No, this couldn’t be real. Definitely a dream. That was the only explanation.

“I didn’t know those words were yours at the time, and I’m not sure if I fully believed them either but… after the Conclave, the Anchor, ending up with the Inquisition? I started to believe it. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but it did. And that’s part of what made me see that the Circles weren’t the Maker’s plan, and that He didn’t hate me.” She paused, again, meeting his eyes when she continued. “So you think I blame you? I’ll tell you what I blame you for. It’s your fault I’m free. It’s your fault I no longer believe the Maker hates me because of how I was born, because of the very gift _He_ gave me. It’s your fault I am the leader that I am today, and that I have power, friends, love, and happiness. It’s your fault I’m successful. And if it weren’t for my success, we still might be dealing with the Breach, so the fact that we’re not right now just might be your fault too.”

Anders gaped at her. He was completely speechless. This sort of praise was… Well, to be perfectly honest, it made him uncomfortable. He wanted to accept it, or at least part of him wanted him to accept it (and that part might have been Justice; he wasn’t sure), but there was still guilt, still some blame he placed on himself that even Hawke hadn’t managed to knock loose yet. And now the Inquisitor, of all people, was threatening to do just that.

It took him a few, long moments to get his brain to work long enough to come up with a response, and the mage across from him waited patiently until he was ready. “I… I’m sorry, I don’t rightly know how to respond. I’m not used to… that reaction.”

“I’ve never regretted what I did. I knew what would happen when I did it. But every life lost is on me just as much as the lives I saved. Every bad experience is my responsibility just as much as the good ones. The stories of hope and freedom? Yes, those exist because of me. But every tragedy is just as much my doing.” Anders continued, feeling a sad smile form on his lips. “And even though I don’t regret it, it’s not so easy to separate it out, especially given how many people blame me directly for their troubles. Hearing you, of all people, speak like that… It’s a shock, to say the least.”

The Inquisitor – Evelyn – smiled. “I understand. People look to me as a leader, and a lot of the decisions I make feel that way too. No matter what I do, someone will be helped, and someone will be hurt. People tell me all the time that I’ve done so much, that my actions have changed things for the better. But they don’t see the people I’ve had to hurt along the way, or the ones who were left behind because I prioritized someone else. You know why you did what you did. It had the effect you desired, or at least something close. You helped people. Leave your thoughts there. Dwelling on the ugly side of ‘the right thing’ is nothing but a good way to drive yourself mad.”

Anders absorbed her words, surprised that someone so young seemed to have such a handle on it. But he supposed that wisdom came from her experiences. This was someone who’d been all but forced into a position of power when a year earlier she hadn’t even been allowed to make her own decisions on the clothing she wore or go outside. It was an inspiring story on paper alone, and hearing her talk now? Well, his earlier suspicions had certainly been misplaced.

“That’s true. Though, time will still tell whether my actions had the desired effect. I let everyone see, so that others could start this revolution. Now it’s a war, and it’s still not clear who is going to come out victorious. But I do hope that one day things will be how I dreamed of them being when I planted those explosives. A world where mages are taught, not imprisoned. A world where we’re free to be who we are. A world where we can be safe.”

Evelyn nodded, smiling. “I share that dream. And though it’s not official yet, the woman who will become Divine shares it as well. I think you’ll be pleased to see the course the world will take very shortly.”

“I want to believe you, but you’ll have to forgive me for being skeptical until I see it.” Anders said, with a rueful smile.

“I get it. But consider it something to potentially look forward to. I’m glad we could have this talk, though. It’s not every day you get to personally thank someone who changed history.”

Anders couldn’t help but flush a little at that, the idea of him being someone who changed history. Hawke frequently told him so, and he felt a burst of pride from Justice in the back of his mind, but it was still hard to consider himself that way. He didn’t start the war; he just lit the torch that was then carried by others. And yet it seemed most forgot that, no matter which side they were on. He’d done what he thought he had to, and it was strange to think of it as anything beyond that.

“Well, thank you for your words.” Anders said, slowly. “I may not think of myself quite that way, but it’s certainly flattering.”

“You’re quite welcome, Anders. Perhaps one day you will think of yourself that way.” Evelyn was still smiling, but her words were then interrupted by a yawn. “Well, as much as I’ve enjoyed having a chance to talk with you openly, I think we’ve got a few more hours before we should get moving again. Cassandra is perfectly in time with the sun, even underground, so it can’t be morning yet if she’s not up. I’m going to try to get a bit more sleep before another long day of Deep Roads. If possible, you should do the same.”

“I suppose you’re right. I appreciate what you’ve said, Inquisitor. Sleep well.” Anders responded, watching as Evelyn turned over, falling asleep almost immediately.

The healer laid down again, staring up at the ceiling of the tunnels. That had been the last conversation he’d ever expected to have with someone like her, someone who was a powerful figure at the head of an even more powerful organization. Still, he couldn’t help the small hint of pride sprouting up inside him. He’d heard the words before, from Hawke, from other mages, from Justice (or at least, the same sentiments, given the nature of their communication). The praise still caught him off guard, even from the expected sources, so hearing it from someone like the Inquisitor was only more shocking, though it seemed it may also have been more effective. Anders turned over on his side, continuing to think on the conversation as he drifted into a sort of half-sleep. After that nightmare, he couldn’t bring himself to slip off entirely, but at least this way he’d still manage to get some more rest before whatever the next day held in store for him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this one is a bit on the long side, but I really didn't want to leave the reveal for the next one haha, so rather than cut some, I'm just giving it as is. It also makes more sense this way, I think, and I'd rather have the chapter be a little long than have it cut in a weird place and potentially mess up the flow of the next one.

The remainder of the night had been spent falling in and out of light sleep, but Anders had to admit, even that had been an improvement over the first night when he hadn’t slept at all. He’d also been rolling the conversation with Evelyn through his mind, still somewhat in shock that such a person could think of him that way. However, it did give him some hope. For if someone who shared his views held real power and could use it to shape the future, then perhaps the future would end up looking more like he wished it to than he’d initially feared.

The mage was just slipping back into his half-sleep state when he heard the sounds of the others beginning to move. Some quiet stirring, followed by heavy footsteps away from the campsite that likely belonged to the Seeker, Cassandra. Some shuffling from around the fire that could’ve been anyone. Then came Varric’s unmistakeable groan upon the realization that he’d have to get up shortly. Anders smiled to himself, thinking of all the similar mornings he’d had with Hawke and the others, though they’d been significantly warmer with her arms wrapped around him. Maker, he missed her. A pang of worry burst in his chest.

 _Soon, my love, I promise. We don’t have much farther to go._ Anders thought, and it was true. If his memory was accurate to the maps he’d seen before this endeavour, then they had less than a day left until they came out the other side. And he was certain they’d find the cause of this before they reached the end. It was down here, he was positive. It was just a matter of finding it. Well, finding it, and then killing it.

Becoming more agitated by the moment, Anders sat up and opened the notebook he’d found again, studying the words. The secret was in here, if only he could bloody well understand it. All he knew for certain that was that they’d been experimenting on or with something evil. That was it. Though he still strongly suspected that the reason whatever was doing this wasn’t dead was likely because the Wardens of old couldn’t kill it. Like with Corypheus, but not a magister. Something created intentionally. Anders knew the Wardens had a bad track record when it came to experimenting sometimes, but that, unfortunately, didn’t narrow it down. He knew he was missing something, some piece or connection, but he couldn’t figure out what. If he could just–

“Hey, Blondie, you should eat something.” Varric’s voice broke the healer’s concentration, forcing him to look up to see the dwarf holding out a bowl with some sort of thick porridge in it.

“Oh, it’s fine Varric, I still have some rations I stole from the Wardens. I’m just trying to figure this out first…” Anders trailed off, looking back down at the notebook in his lap.

“Uh-uh. I know that face. You’re about to get far too caught up in it, and you’ll completely forget about everything else until you figure it out. Hawke would kill me if she found out I was letting you get away with it without food first.” Varric said, holding out the bowl more insistently.

Anders gave him a mock glare, but assented and took the bowl. “I just can’t figure it out. There’s a piece, or some connection I’m missing.”

“This is in a language you barely remember, and that you never learned that much of to begin with; of course you’re going to be missing something. Trying to figure it out may just be a waste of energy. Save it for when we find whatever this is.” Varric said, as Anders ate as quickly as he could, eager to get some more work in before they headed off for the day.

“If we can know beforehand, it would make things a lot easier. Whatever it is, today will be the day we find it.” Anders sighed. “But I suppose you’re right. I’ve been trying since I found it and I’m not closer to figuring out what we’re up against. I’d just rather know.”

“Come on, it’s not like we’ve ever known what sort of shit we were stepping in before we did it. It’s just like old times, Blondie.” Varric said.

The mage chuckled. “That’s not exactly comforting.”

The dwarf shrugged. “Didn’t say it was.”

Varric then began walking back towards the last smoulders of the dying fire, presumably to get prepared for today’s trek. Anders ate, trying to resist the urge to open up the notebook again. Varric was right; there was little hope of him deciphering it, and his energy would be better spent on what was to come. Surely there would be plenty more darkspawn to deal with, and that wasn’t even including whatever was waiting for them at the end of this.

It wasn’t long before the others began to pack up, and Anders followed suit, gathering his small pile of belongings back into his pack. He never carried much, being so used to life on the run by now, and he had never been more thankful for it. Fortunately, he was physically stronger now than he’d ever been in Kirkwall, partially thanks to Hawke and partially thanks to their way of life, but still. Trudging around the Deep Roads was hard enough at any fitness level without added weight to deal with.

Once they were ready, Anders opened the barrier, healed his palm, and they moved forward once again. Conversation was kept to a minimum, the effects of two full days underground clearly taking its toll on party morale. The mage also couldn’t shake the feeling of something… wrong. He wasn’t sure if it was simply the Deep Roads having an effect on him, anxiety about the coming battle and if they were too late, or if there was actually something more to it. But he could swear he was sensing… something underneath everything else.

He glanced at the others, noting that no one else seemed bothered. Hm. Perhaps it was just nerves after all. Anders was always on edge in the Deep Roads, and it was made worse this time by Hawke being in danger. That would be enough to explain it. He tried to put the thoughts of unease aside, since they weren’t helpful, and focus on the task at hand.

As they walked, continuing along the not quite gentle slope up, the darkspawn seemed to be thicker here, coming more often in larger groups. It was definitely nothing they couldn’t handle, but if whatever was doing this could control Wardens, it could probably do so to darkspawn as well. Or at least, Anders suspected as much. Thus, it would make sense to find more of the creatures the closer they got. The barriers had only been activated once Anders had opened the great doors to this section of the Deep Roads, so it wasn’t as if the darkspawn had been limited in their movements before he’d arrived here.

It was tough to tell time underground, especially after a few days without even a sliver of sun or moonlight, but after what felt like a few hours of walking and fighting in near silence, the group reached another barrier. Anders sincerely hoped this was the last one. That would mean they were closer to the surface, and that there was nothing between them and the exit anymore, which would be a huge relief. Also, having to be stabbed every time wasn’t exactly pleasant, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment.

The Inquisitor looked harried as she stopped, then turned back to the rest of the group. “Maybe we should take a few moments rest while we have the chance? The darkspawn are just getting thicker, and we don’t know how many barriers are left.”

Varric wasted no time in sitting down, sighing as he leaned against the grimy walls of the Deep Roads without giving an answer or seeming concerned. They were all filthy by now anyways, or at least that’s what Anders figured his logic was. Cassandra relaxed only by a small margin, just barely letting her guard down, and Cole seemed perfectly content to stop for the well-being of everyone else. Anders wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of waiting any longer, spending more time trapped down here while Hawke was in trouble, but since no one else argued, he stilled his tongue. They could spare a few moments, couldn’t they?

“We’re almost there.” Evelyn said and Anders looked up to see the other mage walking towards him.

“We are.” He replied simply.

“Worried about what we might face at the end of this?” She asked, suggesting that she, at least, was.

“Not as much as I am about what would happen if we didn’t face it.” He decided to leave off the biting remark about their lack of time, about what might happen if they were too slow.

Anders realized then that he never actually told anyone but Varric what was really happening here. He now knew he could trust Evelyn, and that the Seeker likely wouldn’t turn on him immediately anymore. Cole already knew, given his nature as a spirit, but he had been kind enough to stay true to Anders’ request and not say anything. The healer didn’t know how Evelyn might react if he told her now, after so long, even if she seemed the understanding sort. It was probably best to keep his mouth shut until this was over. If she was going to be angry, let her do it when they weren’t on a time limit.

She chuckled at that, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I suppose you’re right. We don’t exactly have a choice, as per usual.”

The hint of bitterness in her tone was a bit surprising, but Anders supposed it came with the territory. Hawke was adept at hiding hers as well, after all.

After a few moments of silence, much like before they’d reached the barrier, Evelyn called for them to continue on, and Anders had to make a point of not rushing to the barrier. Maker, the closer he got, the more he wanted this over with. Days of preparation and trudging through cramped passageways had all led up to this. He was more than ready to finally get it over with, finally know that Hawke, and everyone else in Thedas, was safe.

Anders placed his hand in the device and winced at the pain, just like every other time. But when the barrier fell, the itching in his mind that signified the presence of darkspawn suddenly turned into something altogether more sinister and insistent. The healer stumbled, unprepared for the onslaught.

It wasn’t words or commands, like when Corypheus had tried to control him, but something more like the loud cacophony of a crowded bar. Not quite, definitely more piercing, but that was the closest sound he could relate it to. It was both like and unlike the usual ring of darkspawn, the general sound being familiar, but with more beneath. A heady buzzing that felt like pure _evil_ underneath it all. Anders couldn’t say exactly what evil felt like, or what about it had brought that word to mind, but that was the only term he could use to describe it.

As his awareness came back to him, he looked up expecting Evelyn or Varric or maybe even the Seeker to be questioning what was wrong, but they were all looking in a different direction. His gaze followed theirs until he saw Cole bent over as well, talking almost too fast to understand it.

“No no no no no, it’s _wrong_ , I can feel it, it feels wrong, it’s reaching. We need to stop it, break it, _kill_ it, now! It doesn’t belong here, never belonged here. They changed it, made it worse, and now it uses what they gave it to feed, to _hurt_.” The spirit was all but babbling, and the others were just looking on worriedly.

“Cole, it’s going to be okay. We’re going to stop it. We won’t let it hurt anyone else. I promise.” Evelyn said slowly, trying to mask her worry even though it was obvious that Cole would see through it.

Before Cole could respond, Anders was beside him, speaking without really having decided to do so. “She’s right, it will all be okay. **I swear to you, we will stop it.** I can feel it too; it’s wrong, evil.”

“Thank you.” He said, addressing both Anders (as well as Justice) and Evelyn, and getting out of his hunched position. “I didn’t know. It never should’ve been. We need to hurry.”

“What in the name of the Maker is going on here?” Cassandra added, clearly concerned.

Cole’s words seemed to have an effect on Evelyn, and, after giving Cole a once over to make sure he was okay, she motioned for the group to begin moving again, not bothering to answer the Seeker’s question. The pace she set was faster than before, showing how troubled she was, and Anders certainly wasn’t going to complain. Especially now, he wanted this done.

Idly, the healer explored his own mind as they walked, wondering if perhaps Justice was the one feeling the sense of evil, and not him. The spirit made no indication that he knew if it was related or not, but there was a sense of familiarity seeping through their shared mind. Had Justice witnessed what they were to face before? Did that mean it was a demon? And, if so, why did it also feel similar to the way darkspawn felt? There was no answer to that question that didn’t fill Anders with dread.

As they walked, the heavy presence in Anders’ mind only seemed to get more insistent, and Justice was seething, aching to destroy whatever it was no matter how much Anders tried to soothe him. The feeling of wrong was certainly troubling, but he would’ve been far more afraid if he hadn’t experienced Corypheus’ control before. At least this one wasn’t trying to actively take over his mind. Or, if it was, it was much less successful at it.

The darkspawn provided a welcome distraction from Anders’ worries, though Cole’s occasional remarks about the ‘wrong thing’ weren’t exactly helpful when it came to trying to ignore it. The others were also on edge, the tension within the group only growing with every step. Even those who couldn’t feel it were anxious.

As they passed through another identical hallway, the path veered to the right, leading them to what appeared to be a chamber much different than any they’d found so far. Evelyn slowed her pace, and the others followed her lead, proceeding carefully. Another cluster of darkspawn, including another ogre, stood before them in the curving hallway. The passage curled around a large stone chamber of some description, the contents of which were obscured by thick walls. Anders could see an entryway ahead, beyond the enemies, which would likely lead them to some answers.

But first, the darkspawn had to be dealt with. Despite the exhaustion that must have been weighing on all of them by now, there was a particular urgency in their attack, and Anders was no exception. He pushed himself as hard as he dared, knowing that there was certainly something worse coming. It was Cole, however, that was the most terrifying, clearly driven by the urge to stop whatever was responsible now that he seemed to know what it was. The spirit brought the ogre down with only minimal assistance from Evelyn and Anders, his daggers moving faster than the eye could see and digging in deep to find the weak spots.

The beast fell as Cassandra finished wiping up the smaller ones with Varric’s bolts providing back up. Anders took a moment to wipe the sweat from his brow, immediately regretting giving quite that much to the fight. The healer then pulled the last lyrium potion from his pack, frowning slightly, and downed it, hoping it would be enough for the battle to come.

Evelyn didn’t look to be doing any better, but when she spoke, she sounded every bit the Inquisitor she’d been declared to be. “It looks like this is it. Keep on your guard.”

Silent, tense nods were her only answer as she started moving forward, weapon drawn. Anders moved up to walk beside her, eager to see this finished. He could feel whatever was calling to his mind here; it was close, just beyond. As they approached the entryway, Anders looked at it carefully, and then signalled for everyone to stop.

“That doorway is magically guarded.” He declared, feeling the power of the Fade radiating forth.

“It doesn’t look like the barriers from before.” Evelyn said before pausing, likely reaching to feel the magic herself. “But you’re right, something’s there.

“Maybe it’s to keep something _in_ instead of _out_.” Varric mused, seeming to be thinking out loud.

“We should be careful.” Cassandra added.

“Don’t touch it until we know what we’re deal with.” Anders warned, stalking forward.

Evelyn walked beside him, with the other three close behind. Cole was looking increasingly agitated, and it was spreading to the others. When the group reached the opening and looked in, Anders’ breath caught in his throat while Justice growled in his mind, and he heard Evelyn’s gasp from the side, too busy staring to glance over.

Beyond the all but invisible veil of magic was a creature that filled Anders’ chest with cold dread. Standing taller than any human or even qunari, its hardened skin was a pale, sickening purple with spines jutting out from its elbows and shoulders. The wicked talons at the end of each finger and the spiked horns coming out of its head all contributed to the overall sharp appearance of the massive being. Too many eyes, glowing ominously, watched the walls as the pride demon paced around its cell, apparently contained to this room by the magical wards.

But it wasn’t simply the realization that they were dealing with a creature as powerful as a pride demon that was immediately frightening. Its skin was covered in dark patches, and Anders would’ve said it looked _sick_ , if it were possible for a demon to be ill. There was some sort of aura radiating from it, dark and thick, coming out of the rotted-looking parts of its armoured hide. That could only be the Taint.

 _Tainting a demon? What the_ fuck _were the Wardens here thinking?!_ Anders thought, enraged by the carelessness that had allowed this creature to exist. The Hero of Ferelden had told him about research into demons and the Blight. It was something utterly alien to them, something they could not overcome. However, it appeared the Wardens of old had somehow managed to merge the two successfully.

“Is that…?” Evelyn began, the horror clear in her voice.

“A demon…” Cassandra finished the sentence.

“Shit.” Varric cursed.

“Not just a demon, it’s wrong, they made it worse.” Cole insisted.

“It’s been tainted with the Blight. That must’ve been what the notebook was talking about.” Anders said, his tone bitter.

“How are we going to kill it then? How does the Taint even interact with demons?” Evelyn asked, though it didn’t sound like she was expecting an answer.

Anders could still feel Justice snarling in his mind. If he’d had a separate body, Anders suspected the spirit would be pacing irately, furious that such an evil, unjust creature had come to exist. Evelyn’s question, however, caught his attention, and he prodded at Anders insistently. When the mage sent back a questioning thought, the spirit sent forth both reassurance, and another push. Anders furrowed his brow, not certain what Justice actually meant. Did he know a way to kill it? Another push. That’s when it became obvious: Justice wanted to take over.

The healer deliberated for a moment, unsure if that was the best plan considering their company, but Justice gave another push, with just a hint of reassuring warmth. Anders then noticed Cole watching him, his attention no longer on the creature ahead. Cole then smiled and nodded, giving Anders all the encouragement he needed.

“Alright everyone.” Anders began, pulling the attention of the group from the demon in the cage ahead of them. “I’m going to do something, and I’m telling you now because it’s going to surprise you. Just stay calm, it’ll all make sense in a moment.”

Anders then closed his eyes, felt the faint taste of the Fade on his tongue, and let go.

* * *

Varric watched, wide-eyed, his grip tightening on Bianca as the transformation happened. He knew exactly what Anders had meant, and exactly how this could go wrong. He admitted, he didn’t know how Anders was dealing with the angry spirit in his head these days, but he had some not-so-fond memories from Kirkwall, and from when they first found Corypheus. None of those were helpful in easing his anxiety about this, and that was without thinking about how the others might react.

But it did seem different this time, more controlled. Instead of the mage collapsing, followed by the visible struggle of wills, there was no fight. He closed his eyes, shoulders and jaw tightening, and then that brilliant flare of light cracked through his skin all at once. Dark smoke seeped out from the cracks of vibrant blue and from around him, causing Varric to step back. He could feel the power in the air, feel the familiar, intimidating mix of magic and strength Anders had living inside him come forth.

When his eyes opened again only moments later, blazing blue, Varric knew Anders wasn’t the one looking through them anymore. This was all Justice.

The dwarf then looked around to notice the state of his companions. Cassandra still had her sword drawn, but her grip was loose, her expression showing shock and disbelief instead of anger. Evelyn hadn’t raised her staff, but looked equally stunned, and considering this was a woman who had a hand capable of opening and closing holes in the Fade, that was saying something. Cole looked… Well, Cole looked downright pleased, and Varric decided to shove that observation away for later when he knew if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

“ **I apologize if that display was alarming. I am Justice. Anders and I share this form.** ” The spirit said, matter-of-factly, once he was fully in control, bringing Varric’s attention back to the glowing being before him. “ **I believe I can defeat this demon.** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, yes, there was indeed a massive spoiler in the title the whole time XD


	8. Chapter 8

“So the rumours were true… He is possessed.” Cassandra whispered, awestruck while Evelyn just stared, and Varric seemed uneasy.

Justice wasn’t uncomfortable, or at least that wasn’t the word he would’ve used, but this situation was far from ideal. With so many unknowns, he could understand why Anders was apprehensive about letting him take over. But the spirit had an idea, one that might be the key to taking down this demon. It did help that Compass– no, Cole was the name he went by, looked pleased, and the mortals seemed to listen to him despite his status as a spirit. That could make things simpler.

Cole then turned to the others, and started talking, snapping them out of their trance. “It’s okay. He wants to help.”

His words seemed to work, and the party seemed to relax a touch. Anders, from the back of their mind, was still on edge, but even he calmed slightly. Justice did not like waiting, wanted to stop this demon _now_ , but his time with mortals had taught him a measure of patience. The spirit wasn’t certain if he could defeat the demon without their assistance, so he knew he had to wait, even if he wasn’t happy about it.

“So, uh, you’ve been here the whole time?” Evelyn asked lamely.

“ **Yes. Anders and I merged years ago, before venturing to Kirkwall.** ” Trivial questions seemed to be a favourite of mortals, Justice had discovered, and the quickest way to deal with that was usually just to answer them.

“So the Chantry…?” The Seeker asked, with a tone that was not quite accusatory.

“ **I do not see why you are asking this when there is a demon we must kill.** ” Justice began, knowing his irritation was showing, “ **Anders thought of it, not I. I encouraged him, but he made the decision of his own free will. I am no demon, if that is what you think.** ”

Cassandra snapped her mouth shut, any further questions she had about the details of what happened in Kirkwall dying in her throat, as they should.

Evelyn seemed to collect herself then. “So what is your plan for fighting this demon? Beyond just ‘kill it’?”

Justice was pleasantly surprised by a question actually related to the problem at hand. “ **This is a demon. Before coming to this world, I spent much of my time fighting against such evil. I maintain much of my power over the Fade in this form. I should be able to weaken it enough for you to pierce its hide.** ”

Varric cleared his throat. “Um, I know we haven’t always been on the best terms here, spirit, but I can’t help but point out that this isn’t quite the same. We don’t know what a demon tainted with the Blight is even capable of. We’re going in blind.”

Justice grinned then, a gesture that was altogether completely terrifying to those who were unaccustomed to his mannerisms, and it showed on these mortal’s faces as he spoke. “ **I imagine its capabilities are similar to a spirit who has experienced the corruption of the taint. What better weapon to fight it with?** ”

Silence settled over the party as they all simultaneously appeared to remember that Anders was a Warden, and Justice took the opportunity to hurry things along. “ **If there are no more imperative questions you wish to ask, we should hurry. This creature is controlling others and perpetrating injustice. We must destroy it now.** ”

Evelyn nodded her assent. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Justice then moved towards the barrier holding the demon in, sensing the magic behind it for a moment. Unlike the previous ones, it did not draw on the taint, for obvious reasons, and was simply magical. He glanced at the others, and saw another nod from Evelyn indicating they were ready. The spirit turned back to the barrier, reached for the Fade, and then ripped it open. The demon turned to them as they entered, roared, and rushed forward.

* * *

Hawke looked up when she heard footsteps approaching her cell. She stiffened, wondering who the Wardens were coming for this time. She’d watched since she’d woken up here, and noticed that they came every day, opened a cell, and took the prisoners within away. Whatever happened to them after they left here was a mystery, but not one of her fellow captives had returned so far. The two servants in the cell with her seemed to be taking comfort in her presence. After all, they were locked away with the great Champion of Kirkwall. Surely, nothing bad could happen to them, they must have thought.

_If only they fucking knew._ She thought bitterly. It was letting her guard down that had gotten her into this mess in the first place. It wasn’t until after that she’d figured out how they’d done it, but it was a damn rookie mistake. Sloppy of her. A weak poison in her wine that she’d missed had rendered her unconscious not long after dinner. Anders had gone to talk to some of the other Wardens, so she’d decided to wait for him in their room. The rogue had lasted less than half an hour before she’d passed out, only to awaken later in the cell.

Anders had managed to find her after, insisting that they needed to break her out _now_ , but she’d said no. Even they probably couldn’t fight their way out of a castle filled with seasoned warriors. And, even if they could’ve, massacring the main fortress of the only people with the ability to stop the Blight was too far from a good idea. If something was wrong with them, they needed to figure out what first. Anders had said something seemed off when they’d first arrived and, obviously, he’d been right.

And now her lover was off trying to find the source while she sat here, waiting, doing nothing. It was infuriating. She was the one who took risks, who did the dangerous things in order to protect others. Sure, Anders did too, but she did what she could to take the risk off him as much as she was able to. Well, Justice helped with that, too. But it wasn’t enough. He was in danger now, they both were, doing Maker only knows what, while she sat, rotting, in this damned cell. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

The footsteps got closer until three Wardens turned the corner, walking forward and stopping in front of the cell Hawke and the servants were contained in. Without a word, they unlocked the door, and waited for the prisoners to come out. Hawke stood up and was out first, waiting for the other two. It would be foolish to start a fight now, before she knew what was going on, no matter how much she wanted to. The servants followed, and the Wardens then guided them along the hallways to wherever they were going.

It wasn’t a long walk before they made it to what looked a lot like some sort of throne room. They approached a man standing near the front of the room in front of a table with something the rogue couldn’t quite see resting on it, and he gestured for them to stop once they were close. Hawke took in her surroundings, noting that there was a Warden guarding every door out, as well as the three that had brought them, plus the man before them. Eight fully armed and armoured veterans total, then, with more just one alarmed shout away. This did not look good.

“Welcome! We are so pleased to have you all here, particularly you, Hawke. Today, we are giving you a glorious opportunity to become more than you are. Something better, greater, worthy of pride.” The man said dramatically, “If you accept, that is, you will become one of us, a Grey Warden, a champion to all, the only warriors capable of ending a Blight. It is truly a great honour, what I am offering you today.”

Hawke wasn’t impressed. She shifted her weight, trying to look as uninterested as possible. It was a skill she’d learned in Kirkwall, well-practiced at every damn noble gathering she’d had to attend.

“And if we don’t accept?” She asked, one eyebrow quirked, her tone purposefully sounding bored instead of enraged.

The man stopped for a moment, clearly not expecting an interruption, but then he just smirked wickedly. “Well, if you’re not interested, then we have no use for you. You’ll be disposed of. Anyone who wishes to refuse this great gift isn’t worthy of continuing to live, you see. But, of course, none of you would be so foolish. As a Warden, you’ll be one of the great warriors of legend. Why wouldn’t anyone want that?”

Hawke knew exactly what the price of being a Warden was, and if it hadn’t been obvious before that something was off here, it certainly was now; this was not the way Wardens acted. “Someone who doesn’t want to cut their lifespan in half and be tainted for the rest of it? If they even survive the Joining?”

“That’s simply the sacrifice we must make for greatness.” He said sharply, turning around and grabbing whatever was behind him from the table before coming to face her again, holding a large chalice in his hands with what she assumed was darkspawn blood inside. “Sacrifice is simply a part of life. Now, will you step forward and become one of us, accept this great burden? Or will I have to call for your execution?”

The rogue looked at the servants behind her, shaking and pale, clearly terrified. She thought of Anders, risking his life right now because of her slip up with the wine. She looked at the Warden holding out the chalice to her, and remembered that if Anders was hurt or dead, it was this fucking asshole’s fault. He, and every other blasted Warden in this place, were the ones to blame. Rage surged through her, burning from the centre of her chest and down her limbs until caution was nothing but a memory in her mind.

Without another moment’s hesitation, she stepped forward and punched him square in the face, relishing in the satisfying crunch of his nose shattering beneath her fist. The Wardens standing nearby looked panicked, startled, and she didn’t waste another moment as she went for the next closest one. Hawke was unarmed and outnumbered, but if these fuckers thought she’d give in without a fight, well, clearly they’d never read Varric’s book.

* * *

The demon charged at them, knocking Cassandra to the ground as the others dispersed. The warrior was up moments later, however, seeming more angry than actually hurt. She struck the demon, letting out a grunt of frustration when her sword did nothing but bounce off. The beast responded with a slash of ichor-coated claws, the strike deflecting off Cassandra’s shield and throwing her off balance.

“ **Keep it occupied!** ” Justice shouted and he ran to the side, out of the demon’s reach.

The spirit disliked not being able to engage the enemy directly, but he had another role here. Cassandra was taking the brunt of the creature’s attacks, while Varric and Evelyn stayed back, hitting it from afar. Cole was exploiting the Fade to turn invisible, striking hard and fast before disappearing again. Assured it was adequately distracted, Justice could get to work. It would be difficult, but if he could do it just right, the demon would be weakened, and the attacks of the others would be more than just an annoyance to it.

He inhaled deeply, pulling on the Fade and bringing the power inside him, unreleased. While holding it, Justice next reached for the taint inside their body. The attack would likely be more effective if Anders had been wounded, the tainted blood immediately available, but the spirit was unwilling to harm his host unless it was absolutely necessary. Until it was known how effective this would be, he was not going to do that. This would have to do. Justice waited a moment, letting the power build for just a bit longer, before reaching forward with both hands, sending a beam of tainted magic straight at the demon.

The beast howled, turning towards Justice, and the spirit pushed harder. Cole took advantage of the momentary distraction, appearing out of nowhere and slashing the demon’s leg. It shrieked again, turning to where the rogue had cut it, taint and energy leaking slightly from the wound. The others saw it too, saw that this was working, and converged on the beast, attacking while it was vulnerable. Justice growled, all of his focus pouring into maintaining the stream of magic to keep the demon weakened.

The creature shot its arms out to the side, clawed hands extended, and summoned twin whips of dark lightning. It then swung both at the same time, knocking Cassandra and Cole down, while Varric and Evelyn had to jump back to get out of its range. It then turned its glowing, sickening gaze on Justice.

Justice pushed harder into the stream of magic, hoping to hold it back long enough for the others to attack it again, but it was to no avail. The demon kept coming, pushing itself against the stream weakening it until it was too close, and Justice had to cut it off, drawing their staff and firing regular magic at it. The spirit then dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding the rampaging beast. The demon barely managed to stop right before hitting the wall of its cage.

The beast turned to Justice again, and was then hit by a hail of magic and bolts as Varric and Evelyn regained their composure. Cole appeared soon after, slashing and stabbing at the demon’s legs, followed by Cassandra charging forward to take the hits. The team worked well together, almost seamlessly, surely a product of many battles fought together. The creature’s focus was redirected to the others now, and Justice took the opportunity to gain a little more distance before bringing forth his power and starting again.

It was a fine balance to maintain. The demon was only vulnerable to the others’ attacks while Justice was pouring tainted Fade energy into it, but this demon was not stupid. It was a creature of pride, one of the more intelligent varieties, and it had figured this out. The Inquisition’s group could keep it busy for a while, landing hits and damaging the creature. But it was never long before it would remember that Justice was the real problem. It would push them back, and then turn on him, forcing the spirit to cut off the flow of magic and dodge, lest he be hit. Then the others would catch up, distracting it again, and the process would start all over.

It was draining for Justice, more so than regular combat was, but he needed to maintain it. The mortals were beginning to tire as well, days of walking and fighting leaving them in less than ideal shape. But the demon was weakening, too, ichor dripping from its wounds as its attacks became more and more desperate.

It howled in rage and pain once again, then sent out a blast of power that caused the others to fall again. Justice remained standing, cutting off the flow of magic a moment later, knowing what was surely coming. But it was a heartbeat too late, the demon moving faster this time, and one great, clawed hand made contact. Justice flew back, slamming hard against the wall of the cage, cursing in a long dead language as he collapsed.

The spirit was up a moment later, Anders coming forward enough to assess their injuries. 'Nothing major' was the quick conclusion, and Justice was pleased with that, since they didn’t have time for healing. The demon was moving towards him again, ignoring the magic and bolts hitting it from afar. Justice readied himself, then realized there was a small stream of blood flowing from one arm, the Warden robes they wore torn by the claws of the demon when it had struck.

Justice did not hesitate, pulling all of the power he could muster between his hands, drawing on the taint in their blood again, but from outside this time. A line of dark energy flowed out of the slow trickle of blood and into the ball of power he was gathering. He held it for as long as he could, until it was nearly enough to burst, and then shot it straight towards the demon.

The creature howled when it struck, a pained sound reverberating off the walls as all of its limbs went taught, electric power arcing over its body. The demon stayed like that for a few heartbeats before the sound died off, and the beast collapsed heavily on its back with a ground-shaking crash, unmoving.

The others looked at the remains of the demon, then at Justice. Evelyn looked as though she was going to speak, but was cut off when the shaking did not stop, small rocks starting to fall from the ceiling. Justice could feel the panic rising up from the mage at the back of his mind, and he was racing towards the exit only a moment later.

“ **Hurry!** ” He shouted, glancing back to see the group following now as the tunnels began to collapse around them.


	9. Chapter 9

Evelyn ran. Every muscle in her body ached, already pushed to their limit before this, but she kept going. Stopping at this point meant dying, and she’d be damned if she went through all she had only to have it all end under a pile of rocks in the Deep Roads. The bright glow of Anders – wait, no, the spirit inside him, Justice – provided a convenient guide ahead, the spirit leading them through the passages. Maker, she really hoped there was an exit after this. If they hit a dead end now, there was no escape.

The Inquisitor coughed, the dust making it hard to breathe and causing her aching lungs to burn. Cassandra was at her side, with Cole behind helping poor Varric, who was doing his best to keep up. But she couldn’t stop and try to help him, because if she did and it all went wrong, they’d both be dead. She’d have to count on Cole for that, knowing that the spirit would do anything to help others. Especially Varric, who’d proved to be a good friend.

She was beginning to think the tunnel would never end, that her legs were about to give out at any moment when she saw Justice stop, slamming some sort of lever into a new position. The darkness ahead yawned open, bright daylight streaming through, forcing Evelyn’s eyes into a squint as she continued running. They were almost there. Just a little farther.

Once she was through the doors and felt her boots hit sand instead of rock, Evelyn all but collapsed onto the ground, panting heavily. Cassandra stopped beside her, bent over and panting, but still standing, trying not to show how much she’d expended herself. Cole arrived a moment later, unsurprisingly fine, with Varric, who did actually collapse into a sitting position the second he stopped. Justice stood nearby, his breathing heavy, but strong stance unaffected.

The group remained there in silence, catching their breath and taking a moment to enjoy the fresh air, relishing in being able to smell something other than must and darkspawn corruption for the first time in days. They were out, alive, and they’d won. The mission seemed to have been successful, and all that was left to do was to return to Weisshaupt to see how the Wardens were faring. But surely that could wait a few moments while they recovered, Evelyn thought.

Once she was no longer gasping with every breath, Evelyn took a moment to assess the rest of the party. Cassandra was upright again, looking much better. Varric was still sitting, working on cleaning Bianca, as he always did after battles. Her gaze then travelled further to see Cole talking with Anders, the glow from the mage’s skin and eyes completely gone, as were his injuries.

“We did it. It can’t hurt anyone anymore.” Cole said, sounding pleased with this turn of events.

Anders gave him a small smile. “We did. Now we just need to check on the Wardens and everyone else, make sure they’re alright. I imagine they’re scrambling right now to figure out what happened.”

“You want to go. Make sure they didn’t hurt her. Maker, if they hurt her…” Cole began, and Anders visibly stiffened.

“Yes, I do.” The healer replied tensely. “We stopped it, but we still don’t know if it was in time.”

“She’s strong. You’ve seen her survive so much.” Cole said with a reassuring smile.

“I know.” Anders paused, looking away from the spirit. “But if I’ve lost her, I’ve lost everything. I’m sure you know that already.”

Anders then spoke again before Cole could reply. “I’d like to get moving now. We’re not far, and the sooner we get back to Weisshaupt, the sooner I can know for sure.”

With that, the mage walked over to where the others were, and Evelyn groaned as she stood up, her feet noticeably sore now that she’d had a moment to relax. Varric looked at her in confusion, glanced over at Anders approaching, and followed suit, sighing heavily.

“We shouldn’t linger. We still don’t know what the situation is at Weisshaupt now that we’ve killed the demon and broken the compulsion.” He said, obviously trying to hide his anxiety. “If you, uh, feel the need to ask me any questions now that you’ve met Justice, you can do it while we walk.”

He didn’t exactly leave any room for argument as he walked off, not even waiting for a response. Evelyn sighed, then gestured for the others to follow.

“Let’s go, I guess.” She said before following the mage ahead on the path.

* * *

“So you merged with a spirit?” Evelyn asked, unable to hold her tongue.

“Yes. We met in Amaranthine, when I was with the Wardens.” Anders explained, “He became trapped in our world, forced to possess a corpse that was rapidly rotting away. He offered me the courage and power to fight for mages, and I gave him a host in return. It wasn’t always easy, but it worked out well for both of us in the end.”

Evelyn considered that for a moment. “The Avvar do something like that. Young mages are paired off with a spirit who will guide them and protect them. They later have a coming-of-age ritual that involves separating the two.”

“Really?” Anders looked at her with shock, and then his lips twisted into a soft smile. “There was a time when I’d have been thrilled to hear about a ritual that does just that. But not anymore. What we share… I would never give it up now.”

Evelyn smiled, thinking of Sigrid Guldsdotten. “Yeah, some of the Avvar end up feeling that way, too. We met one who exiled herself from her clan because she didn’t want to lose her closest friend.”

Anders smiled back. “I can’t blame her. The bond… It’s the most intimate relationship you can ever have with another being. Early on, I feared I’d turned Justice into a demon, that he was corrupted and it was my fault. It’s a shame I didn’t know this about the Avvar earlier. I wonder if they could’ve helped us figure things out sooner.”

“I’m sure they could’ve. Though, you'd have to have convinced them it was worth it.” Evelyn replied.

Anders chuckled. “True enough. We figured it out eventually, anyways. But if somehow you ever end up possessed and you have the ability to ask, do it. It’ll save you, and the spirit, a lot of pain.”

“Noted.” Evelyn said plainly, surprised by the seriousness in his tone.

“So you did finally work things out with the angry spirit in your head, huh? I’m glad to hear it, Blondie.” Varric added.

“Yes, I did. I know you were never thrilled with him, but he’s a good friend, both to me and to Hawke. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.” Anders said, before one corner of his lips quirked up just a touch. “You can talk to him yourself, if you like. We can switch control at will now.”

Varric actually looked concerned, and Evelyn almost laughed. “Ah, I’m good. No offence, Justice, but you know how I feel about this magical shit, I’m sure, and I’ve had enough of it for one lifetime. If you thought life with Hawke was weird, just wait until I publish my book about the Inquisitor.”

“Oh, he knows. It just amuses him to watch you get all defensive while trying so hard not to offend him.” Anders was smirking proper now as he glanced back at Varric’s shocked face. “What, you thought spirits couldn’t have a sense of humour?”

Evelyn couldn’t stifle her laugh any longer as Varric mumbled something that definitely included a curse. The conversation waned then, and for the first time, the group descended into a silence that was actually comfortable. The tension from before seemed to have worn off, finally, and after so many days of it, that was a welcome change. Even Cassandra seemed more thoughtful than tense, likely still considering Anders’ possession and what that could mean. Her Nevarran heritage had always made her more open-minded to matters concerning spirits than her affiliation with the Chantry would’ve suggested, Evelyn had learned.

The party crested over a small hill, and when they reached the top, that was when Weisshaupt was finally in sight. It was surrounded by large mountains and hills, nestled within sharp, jagged rocks reaching skyward along with the main tower. It was every bit as intimidating as it sounded; the main fortress of an order such as the Grey Wardens, located in the harshest place in Thedas.

They continued forward, and it wasn’t long before they began traversing the narrow path up to the entrance. Truly, the fortress was well-designed, all but impossible to take by force. And though Evelyn had already known that, had been here before, walking up the path again was a strong reminder. When she’d first arrived, before entering the Deep Roads, it had reminded her how glad she was the Inquisition had worked closely with the Grey Wardens, and that thought came back again now.

As Varric complained about the slope and the sand, and Cassandra complained about Varric’s complaining (again), Evelyn noticed how tense Anders had become. He was worried about Hawke, she was sure, since the Champion had supposedly still been inside when this had all started. What they had planned for her was something the Inquisitor still did not know, though she suspected Anders had known all along, and simply not trusted them with the information. That really made her wonder just what had been going on here before.

Evelyn’s train of thought was broken when they reached the great doors, and a sentry called out from the ramparts, demanding to know who they were. Cassandra informed him that they were with the Inquisition, and that the Inquisitor herself was present, just as she had done the first time. This time, however, the sentry looked shocked, and called for the doors to be opened and the party let in.

Inside the fortress, there was an air of confusion and panic. It was clear the Wardens were trying to recover from the effects of their compulsion, likely struggling to create a picture of what had happened. The sentry had somehow made it down to the ground already, and was now leading them to the main hall, where the Warden-Commander was.

“I’m sorry you had to arrive at a time like this. There were some… strange events, and we’re just starting to try to sort out what happened.” He explained quickly. “No one’s even gone to see the Commander yet, we were all too busy.”

“It’s alright. Just take us to him. We might be able to help you understand what happened.” Evelyn said reassuringly, trying to calm the poor man.

The sentry looked at her with a mixture of confusion and suspicion, but decided not to press the issue and led them forward. He scaled the small set of stairs from the courtyard to the entrance two at a time, then knocked on the doors to the main hall three times. When no one answered, his worried look only deepened, and he threw the doors open.

The sight within was not what Evelyn had expected to find. There were a few small groups of Wardens clustered at the edges of the room, talking urgently with each other. In the centre, there were a few more, all sitting down with varying amounts of injuries. None of them looked seriously hurt, scratches and bruises, some broken bones, and one of them was unconscious, but not one of them looked like they’d been hit by a weapon or magic. Had someone attacked? Unarmed? Whoever had done that was either very brave or a complete fool, the Inquisitor quickly decided, though she wasn’t sure which just yet.

The one who was the most seriously hurt was currently being tended to by a mage. The man’s face was an absolute mess of blood, his nose clearly broken and a few of his teeth missing. The elven woman kneeling beside him, hands wreathed in healing magic, was working hard to stop the bleeding. When the group arrived, she turned suddenly, giving them a wary look until her eyes landed on Anders.

“Anders? By the Creators, what are you doing here?” She said, apparently deciding this conversation was more important than continuing her work on the injured man.

“Velanna?” Anders was equally shocked. “Shit, I had no idea you were even here. What’s going on?”

A flash of anger moved over her features, and then she looked away bitterly. “We don’t know. It was as if we all awoke from a dream at the same time with no memory of what happened. We’re missing days, Anders! No one can remember anything! All I know is that when the Commander came to,” she gestured to the man who she’d been working on, “he and the others were being attacked by some woman. I’ve been too busy healing the victims to find out anything more.”

“Some woman?” Anders asked immediately, ignoring everything else, his voice rising with anger. “Where is she now? What happened to her?”

“Why do you think I would know?!” Velanna replied defensively. “I just told you I wasn’t there!”

Anders was becoming more visibly upset, and he turned away from Velanna, who scowled and then went back to healing the man with the broken face. He went up to one of the other Wardens, breaking conversation as they looked at him, alarmed.

“Were you there when you all came to? Being attacked by a woman with short, black hair?” The Warden nodded hesitantly, clearly disturbed by his intensity, and Anders’ desperate voice broke when he continued. “Where is she? Where is _**Hawke**?!_ ”


	10. Chapter 10

“Sh-she’s in the dungeons! We barely managed to subdue her, and then didn’t know what else to do with her.” The Warden answered, confused and a little frightened. “We don’t even know what happened!”

Anders nearly collapsed with relief. Hawke was okay. She was okay, and nothing bad had happened. After so long being terrified, not knowing if his lover was alright, no words could be sweeter. Hawke was probably injured, since he doubted they dealt with that before locking her up, but he could fix that. She was alive. She was okay. Everything was okay now.

“Take me to her. _Now_.” He said thickly.

Anders realized as they walked to the dungeons that he really must have scared the Warden he’d approached. There had been no argument, just an explanation of how to get there. He’d have to apologize to Velanna later for snapping at her, too. Not that she probably cared much, given how much he used to annoy her in Amaranthine, but he still felt like it was the appropriate thing to do. The Wardens hadn’t exactly been in the best condition, either.

Varric and Evelyn had come with him, wanting to see Hawke, find out what happened, while Cassandra and Cole stayed behind to talk to the Wardens and explain to them what they’d found in the Deep Roads. Anders had passed on the notebook he’d found to the Seeker, hoping it would provide the proof they needed. It was a truly unbelievable story, he knew that, but with the state the Wardens were in, they may have even believed it without proof. They were desperate for answers after everything that had occurred.

Anders turned the corner, walking just a touch faster than normal, and piercing blue eyes met his through the bars. Hawke stood, her expression switching from completely unfiltered rage to relief and joy in a heartbeat, and Anders rushed to meet her.

“Anders!” Hawke cried. “I was so worried. You’re alright, love? I couldn’t stand not being there to keep you safe.”

“Hawke, you’re the one we need to be worrying about.” Anders said as he looked her over, noting that she wasn’t seriously injured, but some medical attention was definitely needed. “I’m fine, I swear. Everything is fine.”

“Thank the Maker, Anders.” Hawke said, visibly relieved. “Do you know how horrible it was sitting here, not knowing if you were alright? It scared the shit out of me.”

“I know, love. I was worried too. They didn’t… You didn’t take the Joining, did you?” He asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Of course not. I know the price. Besides, I’m not one to give in without a fight.” She replied, smirking and cracking her bruised and bloodied knuckles for emphasis, though the effect was lessened somewhat by her wince. “The Warden-Commander’s face probably won’t be the same again.”

Anders chuckled. “Well, I’m glad. I’ll explain everything, but first, let’s get you out of there.”

The healer then used a quick bolt of magic to destroy the lock, having forgotten to ask for the key. Before Anders could do anything else, Hawke was out and on him, wrapping her arms tight around him, almost making it hard to breathe. He returned the embrace, just happy to have her safe, her arms around him. They were together again, both alive and well. Everything was as it should be.

Hawke pulled away after giving her lover a quick kiss, and it was then she noticed the others, who’d stayed back enough to allow them the reunion. “Varric? You’re here too? And… Evelyn? What the hell?”

Evelyn just smiled as she stepped forward a touch. “Anders sent us an anonymous letter, and we happened to find him in the Deep Roads.”

“And, knowing you’d headed to Weisshaupt, I had to tag along.” Varric said, looking almost as relieved as Anders felt. “Had to make sure you stayed in one piece.”

“Ah, that would make sense. Thank you both for keeping him safe for me.” Hawke then turned back to Anders. “And Justice, too, of course. He’s okay, too, right?”

The mage felt the pleased nudge from Justice, acknowledging the gratitude. “Yes, he’s just fine. He’s likely the only reason we even succeeded, truth be told.”

Hawke cocked her head to the side, and Anders began to explain everything that had happened after he’d left. As he talked, starting with when he found the maps, he called on his magic, healing Hawke’s injuries. She was actually in decent shape considering she’d taken on a group of Wardens unarmed. Most of it was just bruises and scrapes, plus a couple cracked ribs and some small fractures in her hands. All in all, nothing Anders couldn’t handle, and nothing that had been seriously exacerbated by her time in the cell after the fight.

The Champion was quiet as she listened, paying careful attention to every detail. Anders walked her through the whole journey through the Deep Roads, with some additions from Evelyn and Varric. When he described the demon they’d faced and that Justice had killed, how it had been tainted somehow by the Wardens of old and had been controlling the Wardens at Weisshaupt, her lips pressed into a thin line, showing that she found that discovery as troubling as they had.

“So it was this demon, then, that was causing the Wardens to act so strangely.” Hawke said quietly when Anders was finished. “I’m glad you killed it. Something like that never should’ve been created in the first place.”

“No kidding.” Varric replied. “Now, why don’t we get out of this dungeon since we don’t have to be here anymore? I’ve had enough dark and cramped for a lifetime.”

Hawke chuckled. “No disagreements there. I’ve been in this cell for a week.”

The group then made their way back up to the main hall, finding Cassandra talking with a significantly less bloody Warden-Commander. The expression on the man’s face was grave, and he did not seem pleased with what he was hearing. Cassandra then reached out to hand him the notebook, which he took without question. It seemed she’d managed to get through to him, just as they’d hoped.

“Inquisitor.” The man greeted Evelyn when they approached, and his eyes then widened as he realized who else was present. “Champion.”

“Warden-Commander.” Evelyn replied pleasantly. “Cassandra has informed you of what happened I take it?”

“Ah, yes. She told us of the demon you found in the Deep Roads, how it was controlling us using the power of the Blight.” He explained. “And she’s given us the research notes you found. As soon as we figure out everything that happened here while we were not ourselves, we will be looking into this. It’s not impossible there are other demons like this one, still dormant, in places. And this is certainly research we do not wish to see repeated in the future, either.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Evelyn said, smiling. “And if you need any help from the Inquisition to achieve those goals, I’ll give you whatever you need. This is something that can never be allowed to happen again.”

“I am in full agreement, Inquisitor.” He paused, and then looked at Hawke, seeming uncomfortable. “And Champion… I am truly sorry for what occurred while you were here. As I’m sure you’ve heard, we were not ourselves. I want to express my deepest apologies for any harm that we may have inflicted upon you during your stay.”

Hawke seemed surprised, but not unhappily so, with the apology. “I understand. It wasn’t your fault. Besides, I think it’s you who experienced the most harm here. Just make absolutely sure this doesn’t happen again. Not for my sake, but for the sake of everyone else.”

The Commander nodded. “That will be the first priority once we’ve taken stock of everything. There’s still much to do, and I would understand if you refused, but perhaps you could be of some assistance in determining what happened?”

“Sure. Not right now, though, as I still have some ‘taking stock’ of my own to do.” Hawke glanced over to Anders for a moment. “But later, I’d be happy to tell you everything I know.”

“Thank you, Champion.” He paused again. “Now, I need to start working on some of this. I’ll speak with you later.”

With that, the Commander strode off and out of the room to take care of whatever business he’d deemed most important. Anders looked around for Velanna, but saw no sign of her. There’d be a chance later, though; it sounded like Hawke wasn’t planning to leave immediately, which meant Anders would be staying too, as always.

“Well, I suppose we should get moving, too. Take our report back to the advisors, tell everyone what happened.” The Inquisitor declared, letting out a sigh. “You can handle things from here, Hawke?”

“I don’t see why not. He heard Cassandra’s account, he’s got the notes, and Anders was in the Deep Roads with you. I don’t think we need you here unless you want to stay.” Hawke replied.

“I think all of us have had quite enough of this Warden business.” Varric chimed in. “After this is all done, though, you should drop by Kirkwall. Come visit your favourite dwarf now that the world’s not ending anymore.”

That made Hawke grin. “Oh don’t worry, Varric, you’re far from rid of me. We’ll come by soon enough.”

Varric chuckled, but if he was going to say anything more, it was cut off by Cassandra clearing her throat. “I, um, just wanted to say how good it was to see you again, Champion. The bravery you showed taking on those Wardens alone, unarmed… It’s amazing. And I’m so glad you’re alright. It couldn’t have been easy…”

Anders couldn’t help but gawk as he watched the Seeker continue her awestruck gushing, not failing to notice that her cheeks had become just a touch pink. Apparently someone either had a very serious case of hero-worship, or a very serious crush, and he wasn’t sure exactly which. The mage almost wondered if he should be jealous before he looked over to see just how off-guard the praise had caught Hawke. Seeing her face forced him to stifle a chuckle; oh Maker, this was too good.

When Cassandra finally finished her disjointed, praise-filled ramble, most of which Anders had missed, being too shocked to actually listen, Hawke awkwardly thanked her, and offered a handshake. Cassandra looked like she’d just found the Maker’s bosom, and that’s when Anders decided to just look away from this mess. It was too painful to watch.

The healer’s attention wasn’t brought back until Cole appeared, smiling, with two unfamiliar people in tow. Hawke turned towards the spirit, then locked her eyes on the other two, her expression switching from confusion to surprise.

“You guys did make it, then. I had no idea what happened after the fight started, if you were safe, or if you ended up caught up in it.” Hawke began, “I’m glad to see you’re alright. They didn’t make you Wardens?”

“They didn’t!” The first one cried. “You saved us, Champion. We wanted to thank you earlier, but after they dragged you away, we weren’t sure we’d ever see you again.”

“This boy found us and told us to come with him so we could thank you.” The second one explained. “We’ll be forever in your debt, Champion.”

Anders wasn’t really sure what they were talking about, though he suspected they may have been victims of what had happened here as well, perhaps prisoners slated to take the Joining at the same time as Hawke. Regardless, though, Hawke looked relieved to see they’d made it out okay. He was sure she already felt more responsible than was fair for everything that had happened, as she always did, so two lives saved would thus be a step up.

As Hawke sent the servants on their way, Anders heard Cole whisper ‘I helped’. The mage smiled to himself, pleased that it had worked out that way. If this was Cole’s doing, then he knew it would be helpful for his lover. And Hawke did truly seem more content after the servants left.

The Inquisition took their leave then, bidding the Wardens, Hawke, and Anders goodbye. Varric made Hawke swear, again, to come visit him in Kirkwall when this was all over, but for now, there was still some work to be done, and Anders knew Hawke wouldn’t want to leave until the Wardens had gotten everything settled. That was, after all, why she’d originally come here.

But that didn’t matter now. None of the work ahead did. They’d both faced trials and they were both safe, thanks to Hawke’s fists and Justice triumphing over Pride. They were okay and together again, and that was the important part. And no matter what troubles lay ahead, they knew they could face them too, and always remain together in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are! The grand finale lmao. Let’s be real though, there was no way I was ever going to kill Hawke. However, when I first started planning and writing this, I honestly wasn’t sure whether I was going to have her become a Warden or not. I couldn’t decide, because angst is my favourite haha, and I could’ve done something else with this world afterwards if I had’ve. But it occurred to me as I was actually writing the scene with Hawke that there is no way in hell mine, at least, would ever do something she didn’t want to just because someone threatened her. Not a bloody chance. Playing the damsel in distress is 100% not her thing. So she kinda decided for me, and that’s how that came to be.
> 
> Not really an important thing, but I thought it was worth noting haha. I made some other deviations from my original plan as well, because that does tend to happen, but that was the only one I really thought was interesting enough to mention.
> 
> But anyways. I really hope you enjoyed reading this ^^ I deeply enjoyed writing it, but it is nice for it to be finished now. This is the longest fic I’ve written so far, and it’s very different from my usual stuff in a lot of ways, but I think it turned out quite well, if I do say so myself. Alright, I should shut up now before I ramble far too much, but please do feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it! :) And a big thank you to everyone who’s left comments so far; you guys really helped keep me going.


End file.
